first dreamt I have extra flesh around edge of my feet. I carefully cut them off and my 2nd brother found worms in it. I watched it and saw 2 worms and my brother claim he saw more much smaller I didn't see. then I thought now that I long time can't gain my master degree I should consider a job for living. I reckon teaching English and perfect my language skill. my niece asked me shift my tool, a picker to her, I admitted but loathed. then the ground floor of the building, an office of editors of a publish house, full with its staff lately returned. when I retreated, I saw a guy on way and though him too poor, so I intended to offer him ¥5 in charity. but the guy shamelessly chased after me and impatiently peek my purse and attempted using his picker tool like thief to take bill from it. I took too long to find ¥5 bill and enough by the harassment of the guy and cancel my offer. by a shallowly underground well, some woman murmured what a pity, seemingly I lost a chance to gain from my last kindness. I though they know something I don't know but too many meanings or conspires led me indecisive and woke up. previously in dawn dream I painted and let my artist friends, esp. Tibet artist Benba Chungdak, check it. he likely respects it. this month my salary reached a historic low at ¥1468, which even can't cover our living expense, ie. my son and myself. I have anticipated it restored to normal, around 3000, so hard. God, dad, what's the hell ahead for falling with sinking PRC, poverty and unprotection of social welfare or civil war's cannon fodder? dad, God, what challenge I was set in? bring me sooner my Royal China for the salvage. bring me painless through adversity currectly emcompasses me. remove the crucifixion the Son reraised from. I with happiness with the Holy in the unprecedented glory.