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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

in cloud of commons.

First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been
a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son
following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept
in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then
dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we
passed a relatives' village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in
English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so
far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day.
Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I
felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me,
so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant
and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet,
where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS
will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement
online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me
dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call.
When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to
feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me
once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar
holiday I didn't feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and
joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially
stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control
debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn't
bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and
what's on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don't
move me much. I more confident in God's bliss, which more making sense
in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving
left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food
and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In
this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and
cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my
Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from
Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

moulding reality with domains.

last night too beautiful to miss, that I lingered in front of computer lately around 11am. in mid night dreamt my once colleagues, a technician deputy director with 2 once and life long students who moved department with him to forge their territory. I dreamt they researched logic, one of my university subject majoring philosophy, to calculate their profit and loss. lunar spring festival eve is today. before it all my projected tasks done smoothly, esp renew our beautiful domains 3rd times or 4 times. first time aided by my nephew to migrate from godaddy to dynadot for cheaper price of renewal, then asked help from my elder brother to renew most dangerous one, woz.fm, before its price increase month later. 3rd renewal carried last Wednesday planned long time after new registrar dynadot offers facility to renew more years among zuo.center and others, aided by salary released earlier than usual February from QRRS, my once and long term employer. now all zhone domains sustained after year 2022. that's wonderful task accomplished in lunar 2017. now I intended enrolling foremost task, renewal of zho.io, which allow more 5 years to subscript on platform of dynadot. with the investment, all zhone domain ownership will extends to 2025, or so. I hope it is a rewarding investment, even under possible seizure dangerous PRC tyrant dwelt around thousand times. God, dad, how I contented with my intelligent properties after these sweating year buffeted by poverty and baseless. now zhone portal also gathering audience, adsense earning turns more regular even far from profitable. dad God, my pension can be meaningless, esp in debt mounting PRC government as well as dark perspective of administrative deficit, but can I survive the ruin of tumor of ghost communism CCP's reign? can I survive peace and protected interest my building Empire even in its early phrase but with my heart and sweat? I still have near 40,000 CNY credit debt to Chinese banks, one of them, ccb, threatened to law sue last week. dad God, where I can assure my establishment cyberspace under holy warranty as burnout disease of CCP and tyranny PRC into ash before its arson trying cling to us? dad God, direct me in paved lane to safe breakthrough before smothering dying hard PRC collapse fatally. my lunar 2018 can be more energetic with safety of capitalism in PRC in fact, whose on stage last surge sucking partisan and bureaucratic cadres shamelessly seize the ultramost from sick society, prey of civilian.

yesterday I ate 4 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent from southern China, his small mill. they are quite tasty. when I went jogging routinely, I obviously felt dragging belly, and heart pumping heavier. dad, God, in my life I missed delicacy so much, even larger amount of beautiful girl souls, but I was remained slim and healthier appetite so far. God, guide me toward my new family, where my 2nd child can glorifies my earth life. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for joy matters much. grant us sooner approach the anxious free peak where our domains consolidate like the world map, well recognized and vivid as atmosphere.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

among homeless loneliness.

dreamt in my hometown preparing to return university, or just enrolled by university. my elder brother and my mom prepared me package and anxious about train ticket. I had seven or eight files need to unpack, to answer a quiz, in which explains a Chinese word, all family happy 阖家欢乐. I myself relentless, doubting first settle 2nd or the first tour, for the destiny needs 2 transference. today likely first day of lunar spring festival and my fasting day: dorm canteen in vacation now, likely till 2 weeks or 3 to resume. my younger brother sent 4 parcels of ready food which quite relieves my anxious budget for the holiday. last night the dorm canteen also treated me with a more delicious dinner, includes pork and squid. there were lots of hopelessly stupid Chinese aside road burning fake money for their passed relatives on way my jogging. I had to cover my eyes with sleeves still got dirt in eyes. these week busy with overcoming obstacle harsher PRC surveillance imposed. I also prepare my son woz new open wifi for his coming party with his cousins from his mom's relatives visiting the lunar holiday. PRC dog system closely watched it: when I print a board of wifi confidential in a local small print house, soon 2 men join the shop till my left. when I deleted my backup image online of the board, my internet shut down at once for more than 6 hours, till now my usual vpn had problem to connect. review the stupid holiday I feel more convinced that's a absurd event of Chinese culture: its boost blind celebration, hatred against neighbor and social harmony. human fed by God's mercy, rather than foolish harvest which lunar spring festival signalizes. spring festival at its best encourages laziness and paralyzing of society, running norm of civilization, fear of scattered corporation. in the week I also received poverty aid from QRRS, my once and long time employer, 300 CNY in cash and 500 into debit card. it helps me relieve debt burden to dorm canteen, alipay credit including installment. now my only curiosity is my younger brother's promised gift to renew our 2 dearer domains. if I can deposit 100 CNY in my ABC and Bankcomm debit account for remaining their alive, I will regretless starting lunar new year. recent night I also research alternative chromebook, now that my acer chromebook will reach its end of life in google support term. I want to equip woz a ultra convertible chromebook, with google play embedded. then I can convert my retired one into a linux notebook. the plan is faultless, hopefully after my installment with alipay credit finished and ready for new one. God, dad, feed me in the enduring lunar holiday as homeless. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko for real celebration season. grant us 2 rich meals in holiday when I fetch my son to dine out. help me reach end of spring festival sooner, risk free. thx, dad God.

Monday, January 22, 2018

peaceful bliss in dawn 2018

dreamt of holiday at my hometown. we visited our relatives in neighbor
village, where I was bitten by ants. they painlessly gathered herds
all over my body. my brother-in-laws, sisters help me after I showered
to check if I was cleaned, around a camp fire before leaving the
village. some neighbor kids also watched. they put on me so many
clothes that I took off many time to assure sanity. the ants' bites
likely drained bloods, no pains at all, their size is smaller. I was a
bit in panic. Last week too beautiful to miss. My son visited my dorm
last Friday, when we worked together trying fix his problem with
eclipse C++ compiling. His mom arranged him learning programming
lesson, which likely just sending him some slideshow. I tried to
introduce him ubuntu & eclipse. But I seldom had expertise on eclipse.
So I have to put more efforts to ensure my son's interest as well as
familiarity with the IDE, till he really works with the tool, leaving
his windows counterpart, dev c++ as his teacher adopted, no where. We
almost fix compiling untill my son tried more on his own programming
codes then compiling errors missing component, which clueless for us.
So next day I searched web for more tutorial ebooks to download. I in
fact gained some copies of pirated ebooks, and I prepared reader on my
son's ubuntu aiming to his reference readily. God dad, help my son
find his joy in programming, and persistent on doing his things right
& joyful. In the same night my son ported in my dorm, my salary
released, ¥4276, such a surprise that we both glad. With it I renewed
woz's domain, woga.me to its maximal years godaddy allows. Next day,
ie. Sunday, I reset & setup again our google home mini, for
unsatisfied by restriction non-English user inherits within google
home app. This time I got online chat aid from google, which assured
me none GPS discrimination but just Language determines user interface
and more choices within, say voice matching, optional voice male or
female. We finally got human voice option, more voice commands
available after switched to English on our nexus. Its such a huge
success that we both glorified. We then dined in downtown hotel
restaurant where we absent for 3 weekends, partially their service
less attracting. But this time we fed well, porks delicious and
enough. In salon I offered ¥20 as tips for wonderful service there,
and last time they resumed my missing renewal there, as gratitude.
After shower in public spa, I found our cyber shopping, an amzon China
parcel due to arrive last Wednesday delayed so far arrived. Another
order, 2 cushions from taobao.com arrived same day. My son was brought
by his mom to visit dentist, so I brought 2 parcels lately around 6pm
to visit my son again. My son looking out for the rechargeable
batteries badly and we cheer up with the new stock of batteries. Its
such a nice day that in the night I gave up episodes watching as
reconciliation upon PRC surveillance heavily blocking online from poor
PRC culture products. Dad God, this blessing morning what can compare
with your mercy in my situation? Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal
China for final solution upon coming crisis in the world. Bring me my
Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our offspring healthy &
strong sanity.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

in dirty of elders.

last night dirty spying eyes pestered me a lot. I saw lots of sexual
scenarios, esp my familiar individuals around me, like dorm canteen
operative woman, a staff of the canteen who helps my laundry. Its
normal dusk when I went to canteen. When I felt good I asked some wine
from the operative woman & handed over ¥5 as reward. I just want to be
joyful & sharing my gratitude. Then sexual emotion likely aroused in
the dorm canteen, esp in the 2 women. After dinner I went to joy as
usual. On the road I saw lots of sexual scenes mindfully I once
experienced when I in doomed love which broke me up back to 2001 when
I left Qiqihar to Nankai Univ, Tianjin, seeking my master degree. I
know mostly women there love me, and I sometimes inspired by them. But
I dislike unreal sex esp out of my loved one. I always pray my
peaceful soul partner, not indecent ones. That heaps of unblessed
illusions reminded me this week an elder man I didn't know approached
me in my dusk jog twice. He likely the husband of an elder woman who
frequented me in my jog and some cases when I on way to visit my son 3
bus stop away. Every time she rode a bike. I at once thought in her
elder what business can she have for such a busy route. Especially a
time on my way to visit my son, she rested aside street and acquainted
me. I just wonder how she made a living wilder around the street. I
quit my eye of mind at once, as none of my business in that moment of
anxiousness. Now I'm almost sure that the insane elder woman in her
show cheating me in her stalking me. Each time she talked to me, her
husband, the old gay would appeared in my jog and trying talk to me,
but I just reckoned him QRRS workers once known me, and never lingered
more in my mind as unpleasant nod. Now I know the man's real ID. In
this week after the insane woman acquaintance on her evasive riding
again in my jog, the man pushed his way into accompany me single
minded, each time in dark area of my route. First time he claimed he
noticed me watching my watch, which I never did. I mistaken him to ask
for time, so I search my pants pocket for watch to help me, the coward
at once ran away, likely thought weapons in my pocket. After 2 days
disappeared, he approached me again in front of QRRS square, chatting
he noticed my route against usual people's route there exercise,
trying selling his research of me, or proof of his stalking. I just
noticed aside a car turning around and the gay shamed then disappeared
again. I never look him nor look back. The dirty illusive scenes all
likely exerted by the sinful couples, they abused my well behavior.
From my poor mother's grass root, I always resolved for poor diligent
women, but didn't know the difference between normal elder woman's
life, and those of the out of shape. Last night I struggled to escape
the fallen & dishonored, till I research my chromebook's replacement,
new chromebook with android apps. I found amazon China selling this
kind of products usually blocked within PRC. In the night I dreamt a
lot purchasing the 2 notebooks for my son & my own notebook
replacement. I dreamt fought in sea with 2 battleship with same name
derived from new chromebook I found at the e-commercial website. I saw
fighting area on their deck. When my son & I almost purchased the
notebook, I woke up for the emptiness of wanting. God, dad, grant us
sooner to have new set of chromebook for our workspace. Bring me
sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan.
Grant us sanctum of love & privacy. Put self-esteem among people I
concerned. In the lunar new year eve, grant us securer ownership over
our adorable domains.