my graduation snow.

 these days in peace of enjoy time's elapse companion. but last night I sincerely praying God's mercy for my been shamed: the nearby restaurant of a couple in which the wife is tall shut door for me. the husband ruthlessly turned close door in front of me, the wife sit her table motionlessly, while I trying bringing just bought sunflower seeds for her to kill time. the night before yesterday the waitress in another restaurant tentatively persuaded me not to shift remnant of sticky bean stuffed bun to her after I shared some of them with them. they insecure while I have several restaurant options or emotional supports. last night I talked a lot with the latter restaurant waitress about my life, my future. the waitress in her 40's and previously a worker of QRRS where I still on its payroll. she lacks the grace to see holy glory, so she more or less mean. I talked more about my obligation to God, she more thought about money where she worked for with me and her boss. dear God, on the way back dorm, I felt more miserable in which I tried to show my admire & love for the tall woman who refuted. in the night i prepaid 41 CNY for next meal and she sms back, only granted me a normal customer's role. I bid bye and well wish for her in last exchange & set free myself for new inspiration: tall, independent, smart girl. dear God dad, the snow really clueless. last night I can't bear heat and removed blanket from cover after adopted it for a week. the night my right knee didn't sore, so coldest winter might just passed by. God dad, I really looking forward this summer heat might restore my hands & legs' sound status. dear God, no one saw your mercy as much as I did. before my life into ash, bring me new blood & grace. my debt to dorm canteen successfully cleared, and in your mercy, they graciously accepted my decision to cancel laundry contract. this month my salary again less than 3000 CNY, dear God dad, I hardly afford writing off new laundry bill with new contractor. help me God, u know how I enjoy my meals and how CCP hated that & viciously attempted to ruin it. let them bark, or let the Son intact.

dream upon new heating blanket

yesterday I managed to equip myself another heating blanket after found first one failed to save my wet bedclothes. dorm canteen & my 2nd elder sister helps. in the night I a bit harder to sleep for the great new gear of Japanese brand but finally slept & felt considerably warm & dry in dawn. in dawn dream, I was passing QRRS, the SOE employed me for more than 2 decades, & passing crowd to my dorm, but it turns out my hometown home, my parents' house, where my dad received me among folks & told me my mom just passed by. in fact, my dad passed before my mom's. when I tried to perceive what an emotion upon my lose of my mom, I abrupt informed my mom & dad's memory pack cataloged under ding & dang title, say /system/ding, or etc a fork of a porting system. the dream chased me to blog, so my rest of sleep ruined even I loathed to get up. dear God, last night my son & i enjoyed peace. he seemingly glad I ordered him Mcdonald deliver which was a bit late for I not sure if It blissful during my hard financial time. dear God dad, in this sunny morning, I left no regret upon my life. my site under attack again, likely PRC surveillance blacklist my server ip & let it inaccessible, no, after a busy morning correcting & testing, inc online proxy, in fact, it was dog first time changed their target from my database to web app's script, aiming sink my site's serving, now that database maintenance would be easier, they don't know stealth & robbery doomed to fail, like hooligan CCP & PRC abnormal after bitchy Marxism ghost fading the world in cheap & devastating Muslim, manifesting how cheap & how human spices different graciously. dear God, lessen my anxious upon it, let my new family more sensible.

a golden dawn babbling.

the chilly dorm let my fingers swollen again, but God's mercy, my body just workable for daily life, even more time & pains covering chores, like put up, mopping floor, etc. recently I equipped myself 2 small laptop blankets, which effective warms up my knees. previously I bought a full size blanket for laptop, but holy message let me bought it which proving very helpful on bed against dorm chill. last night holy spirit lets me ordered my son a Mcdonald deliver & my son enjoys it even a bot late. this morning in warm quilts, I dreamed likely in a candidate campaign team. I using a tool likely offline downloader to multi-accounts management, simulating actual polling or voting. I dreamed other matters but forgot now them. dorm water supply down this moment, but God, I just got my warm keeping plastic bag filled, and tea prepared. when i got up it's pal and smoggy, but now morning sunshine so golden. dear God, my websites recently under lots attacks but now it turns stronger and I will see the final laugh. I proud of them, so simply while viable. Holy just prepared me readier for it, like database backup. PRC surveillance hired zombie hackers just wasted their money & cheap youth. dear God, in this first clear memorized dream since my re-blogging, I will end it with prayer for my emerging 1109 years Empire of China as persistent leading successful Empires of Great British and Japan. God dad, home me after half life roaming in my forbidden city.

cosy nap after sunburn jog, and rich dinner.

today a bit special: in half decade i first ate an elegant dinner for celebrating sudden nap in late afternoon. that's likely due to recent thick tasks to restore my son and my workspace, esp brunch framework based chromeOS on our nuc. this afternoon i even tried to re-enable my todo list management via google tasks and my web app at https://agarten.in. after enjoyed it so much in last 9 years then broke by PRC surveillance, now i know my work experience matters much than any others. i really like my workspace. holy spirit sees why i can live them alive again. my son's workspace recently wrecked by his harshness & inexperienced, I didn't expect to help him restored it, for God just let me visit him on my not real birthday, Sep 27, then i found him joined his school, however, the grandma open the door for me, and i worked there till dusk, reinstall windows, linux, android x86, etc. when my son returned from school, on dinner table, I babbled my job & he satisfied by my demonstration of new OSes. but still i less buzzed him recently, say, last night i muted all time, even i want to chat him. i saw his inconvenience not to lie to me if i insist to understand him closely. dear God, he needs free space to develop his vision, not responsible for me or anyone in the world. dear God, this dinner let me so full and complacent that I peacefully watched a movie online without call anyone amid chilly dorm room. dear God, if aging really your arrangement, why not I accept it? I felt the joy in peace of doze. grant me more freedom of body resilience, in long run, I have faith greater grace upon me, dad, I 'm bidding you, let my life more activities, esp my infant. thx, dad God, bring me sooner my partner of life. in this deep night, my singer for harmony is truely.

among hardened PRC surveillance & mob hateful.

dreamed my university era artist friend, Benba Chungdak. at first with his friend Li Moufeng, in the campus I familiared. then in Benba's house or my house we at leisure. my son joined our conversation. Benba in dream now a well know artist. we talked a lot. my son trusted our guest and learned. my dorm internet under a new wave of surveillance and breakin attempts. I already gave up router but client, which also sometimes unstable. new weekend arriving, there is a new blockbust PRC granted to import, Antman 2. my son chose it from 2 other optional USA films on show recently. he also delayed my invitation to visit my dorm this weekend, rather he will invite his peer in his house, likely for gaming and entertainment. It's a cool morning. wardless web turns so hard to archieve now. I more and more speechless now, amid hardship tyrant PRC exerts upon my living sphere. there are more state intelligent agents in QRRS Dorm around my room here to surveillance me 7*24, costly on PRC fragile totalitarian treasury. God dad, how long we will wait for the overturn, I in faith of the future out of burning campfire among insanely pressed domestic nations. in bitter reality, I hope it fosters revolution rips us off the poorly endangered dictation. bring me sooner my Royal China. my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, come and overturn my prison our enemies engulfed. live us freedom, so to China bitchy mob, jobless riot. game changer, Dad God, let out the active agenda for the sake of better China. thx God, survivor is U.S.

dream of certainty.

last night watched a talk show of Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. his easygoing charactor deeply touched me. turth of life, of fortune, of mission, expand in front of me. in dawn dream, I worked for him, then in army, both reveals truth, or secret of success, course inchangeable. aging let me harder now to memorize dream, but its scenario conforts me. it's a boring morning. the ugly lesbian again lingered in the shabby neighbor room chattering, pretending she had a job there. the whole dorm administrative team moved from their offices seperate into the dorm, mimic my office in dorm. they can't believe they doomed to lose their jobs. their cheap copycat deprives their means of living. they are all thieves in fact, or robbery of innocent. the room in my upper direct floor likely occupied by state backed intelligent agent. they constantly made noise in key situations trying to coerce me. my new chromebox frequently encountered abnormal quit, likely hacked by PRC government online. my son last night just returned from his mom's hometown journey. they visited again the woman's relatives in their hometown, a small town hours away by train. I hope my son enjoy it but affraid he was hijacked by his stupid mom in fact. hours later I will reunite him for lunching out and shower in spa weekly. my new chromebox not only securer, but largely changed my workflow and efficiency. I now consume news most of workday, rather than prevously only in the begining of moring, restricted by portable device for desktop windows might fail me in its insecure. last night I check my alipay credit, found my installment total near ￥900, which much a relief for my monthly return alipay ￥1300 and stumbled about uncommon expenditure. made clear of debt base, I immediately recharged our mobiles fee, around 300 CNY. God dad, lift my dependence on my local loaner, who might turning reluctant. grant us a richer salary this month for I due to pay some extra bills including medicine, clothes, etc. secure my worksapce with findings, revealing truth our mission concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for ease of living. let me stay in self-contain upon life stream and social motivation. guarantee my cyberspace publishing booming and plenty of self-rely.

under heavy siege from posting on wall eventually.

these 2 dawns both dreamed of enemies and my revenge. yesterday on my jog route, the old sinister, an elder man, a mad cow, again challenged me physically, took a narrow way in advance me. he copied my route twice, always bragged his mule energetic and orthodox. It really disgusting me but I trusted God the killing upon profane, anytime anywhere. it took me longer to roam when I caught sight of my mission on the earth progresses so step by step and devising broken. God dad, enemies took our road to sabotage our beautiful world's descending. near my dorm, the neighbor room of my dorm, is a half size room previously for cleaner keeping tools, now occupied by dorm administrative staff, a likely lesbian. dorm authority previously never put woman among mans' area, but the cheap cow insisted lodging among all man dorms, just for steal and spying me. day by day it hided herself in the shabby shelter to surveillance me, to profane me. likely she arranged that to take advantage of public asset for private interest, or the SOE under PRC tyrant's direction to threaten me with the trick. as to larger aspect, these 2 weeks quite satisfying: dorm internet access upgrade to chinaunicom fiber optics, whose download speed stable at 2MB/s. upload speed almost the same. I completed downloading OSes on our raspberry pi within 2 hours for 2 or 4 system images. with the utility, I can safely try more Linux distributive and more prepared for Linux world which so attractive comparing Microsoft under PRC blackmail. now my son and my raspberry pi both equipped with more elegant OSes, ready to go further and higher on the ward free informative universe. the ISP in the pass week gradually picked up to surveillance me. it already blocked me 2 days last week, forced me surfing domestic sites includes its homepage, where I found cheap but gracious mobile phone number with modest data plan, 15 CNY/mon. I had already persuaded by its sms to have a free of charge deputy phone number, but later contact refuted me saying the data plan includes deputy card requires at lease 128CNY/mon consuming. but on the website, I saw an independent phone number only costs 30CNY, so I immediately ordered one, in rhythm of rain in an aimless night besieged by deadly blockage from open web. It's so meaningful and rewarding, that I can't wait to add the new asset to all my zhone GA contacts. Monday express informed me the arrival of the sim card and I fetched immediately, even the staff of the unicom missing and handled over her colleague. Sunday I busy with trying enable other 2 GA chrome device management within google admin panel before woz returning from his painting class his mom arranged years. even failed due to google policy, we glad the 2 GA didn't bundled with central administrative which usually bans full google play store access, as status quo. my son uncertain about my blame last Monday upon his adopting a corrective glasses his mom suggested in favor of Chinese so said innovation, but never trustworthy. he tried to flattered me by turning on English podcast proactive as I frequently urged while he always loosed to abid. but I don't care, and glad to reunite him in the fruitful weekend. his internet ISP once boasted speed of 30MB but never satisfying, rather just lagging and broken frequently, likely in PRC surveillance's ordain. I even can't update his Linux smoothly there. each time when I visit my son and launch update, it's bottle neck and upset our patience. God laughs the dirty trick and burning brains wasted among all ghosted communism China wholely in ash. God dad, I'm so contented by my new internet that I here end this post soon. grant my son satisfying web and rich content of play. grant us ward free web, for otherwise I see only darkness of dictator propaganda, coarse of manipulation of social consciousness. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me closer my dream land and peace of God's mercy upon Chinese and China, my vested land from my glorious ancestor. thx for this sunny morning, Dad God.

woz enters 13th earth year.

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ￥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ￥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz's birthday cake a dearest one, ￥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓语. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 and a Chinese sound like "揉", both like kangaroo or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8am and loudly outside. I saw in this days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives and creativeness. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

woz with his 13th birthday cake.

overseas friendship forever memorized: Asus product from Amazon China.

Note:
the chromebook brings another equipment of linux into zhone workspace. never too overestimate to celebrate its fitting our need upon coming US and China trade war. its so smartly slim. I hope my son enjoy it as his new first gaming gear. God dad, how a larger surprise can be after turbulent customs deterrence and hostile PRC surveillance? God dad, its the largest gift we have now, in your mercy.
Main Content:
dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsource us to another bus. then we passed by a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with update windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. its quick smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't dissatisfy me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China.

our parcel deterred 3rd times at Beijing customs.

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast very rich, including hundreds of cuisines. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food there. It's a brilliant morning, when I can't help first to do is check my parcel's delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery way, amazon did and assured the forecast, we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it's not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

waiting for new arrival.

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic.
God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

dusk down lunar largest holiday.

dreamt my publishing career got happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success, my narrative style studied by scholar and critics. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settled up arch linux, which renew my experience of dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution release. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns a full functional pc from toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns more hard to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for better meals with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant me another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year. Thx dad God.

tumbling night.

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime bravely to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even risky but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design.
last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead.
God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.