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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

in cloud of commons.

First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been
a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son
following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept
in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then
dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we
passed a relatives' village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in
English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so
far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day.
Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I
felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me,
so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant
and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet,
where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS
will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement
online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me
dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call.
When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to
feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me
once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar
holiday I didn't feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and
joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially
stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control
debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn't
bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and
what's on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don't
move me much. I more confident in God's bliss, which more making sense
in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving
left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food
and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In
this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and
cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my
Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from
Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

moulding reality with domains.

last night too beautiful to miss, that I lingered in front of computer lately around 11am. in mid night dreamt my once colleagues, a technician deputy director with 2 once and life long students who moved department with him to forge their territory. I dreamt they researched logic, one of my university subject majoring philosophy, to calculate their profit and loss. lunar spring festival eve is today. before it all my projected tasks done smoothly, esp renew our beautiful domains 3rd times or 4 times. first time aided by my nephew to migrate from godaddy to dynadot for cheaper price of renewal, then asked help from my elder brother to renew most dangerous one, woz.fm, before its price increase month later. 3rd renewal carried last Wednesday planned long time after new registrar dynadot offers facility to renew more years among zuo.center and others, aided by salary released earlier than usual February from QRRS, my once and long term employer. now all zhone domains sustained after year 2022. that's wonderful task accomplished in lunar 2017. now I intended enrolling foremost task, renewal of zho.io, which allow more 5 years to subscript on platform of dynadot. with the investment, all zhone domain ownership will extends to 2025, or so. I hope it is a rewarding investment, even under possible seizure dangerous PRC tyrant dwelt around thousand times. God, dad, how I contented with my intelligent properties after these sweating year buffeted by poverty and baseless. now zhone portal also gathering audience, adsense earning turns more regular even far from profitable. dad God, my pension can be meaningless, esp in debt mounting PRC government as well as dark perspective of administrative deficit, but can I survive the ruin of tumor of ghost communism CCP's reign? can I survive peace and protected interest my building Empire even in its early phrase but with my heart and sweat? I still have near 40,000 CNY credit debt to Chinese banks, one of them, ccb, threatened to law sue last week. dad God, where I can assure my establishment cyberspace under holy warranty as burnout disease of CCP and tyranny PRC into ash before its arson trying cling to us? dad God, direct me in paved lane to safe breakthrough before smothering dying hard PRC collapse fatally. my lunar 2018 can be more energetic with safety of capitalism in PRC in fact, whose on stage last surge sucking partisan and bureaucratic cadres shamelessly seize the ultramost from sick society, prey of civilian.

yesterday I ate 4 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent from southern China, his small mill. they are quite tasty. when I went jogging routinely, I obviously felt dragging belly, and heart pumping heavier. dad, God, in my life I missed delicacy so much, even larger amount of beautiful girl souls, but I was remained slim and healthier appetite so far. God, guide me toward my new family, where my 2nd child can glorifies my earth life. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for joy matters much. grant us sooner approach the anxious free peak where our domains consolidate like the world map, well recognized and vivid as atmosphere.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

among homeless loneliness.

dreamt in my hometown preparing to return university, or just enrolled by university. my elder brother and my mom prepared me package and anxious about train ticket. I had seven or eight files need to unpack, to answer a quiz, in which explains a Chinese word, all family happy 阖家欢乐. I myself relentless, doubting first settle 2nd or the first tour, for the destiny needs 2 transference. today likely first day of lunar spring festival and my fasting day: dorm canteen in vacation now, likely till 2 weeks or 3 to resume. my younger brother sent 4 parcels of ready food which quite relieves my anxious budget for the holiday. last night the dorm canteen also treated me with a more delicious dinner, includes pork and squid. there were lots of hopelessly stupid Chinese aside road burning fake money for their passed relatives on way my jogging. I had to cover my eyes with sleeves still got dirt in eyes. these week busy with overcoming obstacle harsher PRC surveillance imposed. I also prepare my son woz new open wifi for his coming party with his cousins from his mom's relatives visiting the lunar holiday. PRC dog system closely watched it: when I print a board of wifi confidential in a local small print house, soon 2 men join the shop till my left. when I deleted my backup image online of the board, my internet shut down at once for more than 6 hours, till now my usual vpn had problem to connect. review the stupid holiday I feel more convinced that's a absurd event of Chinese culture: its boost blind celebration, hatred against neighbor and social harmony. human fed by God's mercy, rather than foolish harvest which lunar spring festival signalizes. spring festival at its best encourages laziness and paralyzing of society, running norm of civilization, fear of scattered corporation. in the week I also received poverty aid from QRRS, my once and long time employer, 300 CNY in cash and 500 into debit card. it helps me relieve debt burden to dorm canteen, alipay credit including installment. now my only curiosity is my younger brother's promised gift to renew our 2 dearer domains. if I can deposit 100 CNY in my ABC and Bankcomm debit account for remaining their alive, I will regretless starting lunar new year. recent night I also research alternative chromebook, now that my acer chromebook will reach its end of life in google support term. I want to equip woz a ultra convertible chromebook, with google play embedded. then I can convert my retired one into a linux notebook. the plan is faultless, hopefully after my installment with alipay credit finished and ready for new one. God, dad, feed me in the enduring lunar holiday as homeless. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko for real celebration season. grant us 2 rich meals in holiday when I fetch my son to dine out. help me reach end of spring festival sooner, risk free. thx, dad God.