my graduation snow.

 these days in peace of enjoy time's elapse companion. but last night I sincerely praying God's mercy for my been shamed: the nearby restaurant of a couple in which the wife is tall shut door for me. the husband ruthlessly turned close door in front of me, the wife sit her table motionlessly, while I trying bringing just bought sunflower seeds for her to kill time. the night before yesterday the waitress in another restaurant tentatively persuaded me not to shift remnant of sticky bean stuffed bun to her after I shared some of them with them. they insecure while I have several restaurant options or emotional supports. last night I talked a lot with the latter restaurant waitress about my life, my future. the waitress in her 40's and previously a worker of QRRS where I still on its payroll. she lacks the grace to see holy glory, so she more or less mean. I talked more about my obligation to God, she more thought about money where she worked for with me and her boss. dear God, on the way back dorm, I felt more miserable in which I tried to show my admire & love for the tall woman who refuted. in the night i prepaid 41 CNY for next meal and she sms back, only granted me a normal customer's role. I bid bye and well wish for her in last exchange & set free myself for new inspiration: tall, independent, smart girl. dear God dad, the snow really clueless. last night I can't bear heat and removed blanket from cover after adopted it for a week. the night my right knee didn't sore, so coldest winter might just passed by. God dad, I really looking forward this summer heat might restore my hands & legs' sound status. dear God, no one saw your mercy as much as I did. before my life into ash, bring me new blood & grace. my debt to dorm canteen successfully cleared, and in your mercy, they graciously accepted my decision to cancel laundry contract. this month my salary again less than 3000 CNY, dear God dad, I hardly afford writing off new laundry bill with new contractor. help me God, u know how I enjoy my meals and how CCP hated that & viciously attempted to ruin it. let them bark, or let the Son intact.

a gracious day.

yesterday is a huge grace.the night before yesterday I bought a bag of pop corn then shifted rest to neighbor young ladd to eat, and promised will bring over some fruits next day. so yesterday before dusk jog I check ATM to assure my card has enough remnant. what a surprised after found my salary account even larger surplus than when this month released, which likely below 2200. then I decided celebration for the grace. I bought a larger cluster bananas from nearby supermarket. then I visited 1st restaurant, California noodle, where I previously told the young boss not loose management in exchange of obvious cheap gatherings of jobless women or homeless, for clients dislike losers. the boss glad to received my 3 bananas. then I visited 2nd restaurant where the tall wife of the boss attracted me a lot. I offer the couple 3 bananas, one for their daughter. there was a table of customers there, mainly elders of QRRS, esp a retired manager of QRRS at a loss. they stunned by my kindness & generosity, stood to ask for my acquaintance. I tried twice but unable to recognized who they belong, so I complimented that anyone in QRRS knows the tall man, and I was a crew of deputy ccp leader Zhou. they appreciated. then I visited 3rd restaurant, a newly open one, where I ate lunch the day and missed my phone & purse first time when I left but the boss woman delivered them back to me. they r likely suburban peasants, the woman has admirable chest but less long legs, as peasant woman usually has. she is charming. I offered her a banana & promised next week I will come back. then i visited 4th restaurant, where 2 young waiters open the door for me, I treated them each banana for thanks of service. back to dorm, I exchanged one with the porter woman. after settled in dorm room, I visited neighbor kid with 3 bananas. he is a short ladd & cunning. he cautious upon my gift, I said, now that u thought u have a different larger future, why afraid of this small pieces? he accepted gladly. in my work space,ie. radio music, I suddenly want to see the first restaurant where the waitress cordial, so I visited it again lately around 7 pm. I drank a cup of coffee, ate a dish of pickle. the young boss disliked me for he was enjoying his elder female waitress' companion. on way, I bought a case of ice cream for the kids, and a beer. I visited the dorm canteen, to whom I just paid back 1000 cny for their loan near 2000 in last decade. they eating their dinner, and invited me. It was all right when I left. the night I felt so much bliss in sharing food. in dawn dream, I brought my family visiting my hometown. My passed mom preparing our dinner and asked me to fetch some water from village well. I carried my son on shoulders & headed out. on the road several elders rested aside. I asked to buy some melon for my son, they replied u can take as long as u can bite. but I gladly found I always carry tools with me, as my worker father exemplified me, so I free eating the sweet melon with my son with our Swiss army knife kit purchased online benefits us so much. 

 Dear God dad, It's again a sunny morning. I will attending the tall woman's restaurant soon after this blog. dear God, I never expected my life so rich & gracious. I pray full heart for descending greater grace in my rest life which not too long. dear God, in this shabby world, I still in faith u can fix my painful fingers like a fiddle. Thanks, dear dad.

dreamed alumus on her door.

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumni who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our school girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern country side scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm to breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine. my life more and more turned like an elder, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenges, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually had less than a bowl meat in a week there. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is to gathering my son, woz. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my wrecked shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when turned wet, now replace by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad.

dream of panther in hometown village.

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered into other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including with infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it fearful and enjoy ourselves each other. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shifted by someone from yard to dorm corridor sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ￥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population, largest wastes on earth. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own word and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

using of job

Introducation:

last weekend I left my son in gaming on his new flip chromebook earlier, partially evaded his messy mother's beg for aid to support my son's living. I recorded her loan ￥700/mon to support my son's living expenses, which mounts to near ￥20,000 so far, and told her I penniless each month with my bills and poor salary. my son last night likely upset by his mom's attitude and shown no respect of my query of his ongoing updating his wintel. he don't know his mom's failure and harm in her family education, as normal cheap Chinese.

KeyNote:

dreamt at my hometown in my summer campus vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizzahub. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop run by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary'a house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SWE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant appearance among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

overseas friendship forever memorized: Asus product from Amazon China.

Note:
the chromebook brings another equipment of linux into zhone workspace. never too overestimate to celebrate its fitting our need upon coming US and China trade war. its so smartly slim. I hope my son enjoy it as his new first gaming gear. God dad, how a larger surprise can be after turbulent customs deterrence and hostile PRC surveillance? God dad, its the largest gift we have now, in your mercy.
Main Content:
dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsource us to another bus. then we passed by a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with update windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. its quick smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't dissatisfy me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China.

waiting for new arrival.

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic.
God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

in danger of sliding chance.

first dreamt kill a bear. I don't want to hunt but soon I slayed it in front of fear. then dreamt in my hometown just after wedding. I enjoy enviable sexual life with my bride, each time I never anxious but just insatiable courses. yesterday is our monthly cinema time with my son, woz. we watched blockbuster "ready player one". we almost miss it with fake Russian product, snow queen 3 which mimics frozen 3. we watched frozen 1 and 2 and impressed, and without hesitation we chose the snow theme movie, till 2 days before the lunar Mourning day I found we cheated by the Russian. my son soon accepted my suggestion of change. and that's rewarding. I think "ready player one" is quite impressive in visual presentation. before the movie, I told my son my decision to put investment before deposition, in risk of CCP seizure. we never felt unease upon saving woz some pocket money via alipay's yuebao, till last Sunday we found yuebao restricting our automatic deposit, delayed more than ￥800 in cash account without profit for months, due quota restriction new CCP financial regulator setup aiming to disable or malfunction the world largest fund. then I saw CCP relentlessly constrain civilian's cash flow. I felt threatened and need to take action rather than passive been robbed. also in past months, our intended purchase, convertible chromebook, turned more dearer and scarcer on amazon China. we need response swift. my son agreed. after movie we ate hotpot near the cinema. the peanut sausage ran short, and a neighbor cheap mid aged man occupied himself unnecessary a full bowl of it against shortage. we used groupon and additional cash for more mutton. after returned to my dorm, I felt the rich meal let me energetic and delayed to sleep. I check my purchase target monitoring and amazed by new chromebook on sale. I at once ordered it and paid by my deposit money for woz in last half year, near 2000 CNY. its so satisfying that I watched lately another episode of "the office" for completion of the wonderful lunar Mourning holiday. now last night dream is so sweet that I never know aging. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for I waited decades. grant us one more child for prosperous Eastern Asia. thx God, in this sedative morning.

agarten.in new face.

dreamt history creation by 2 pals in three kingdoms period Chinese well known. one of them is Yuwei, with his family ie. his mother and young wife, forging his southern China country from scratch. I witness his charisma, his conquer over territory he bestowed. another guy's expanding his national border near southeastern China also in details in dream. its a sandstomy morning. last week I ripped one of zhone cms, https://agarten.in ,replace it with a tool site, a project management site. even still in experimental phrase, I already felt satisfying. my son last week installed an old famous file explorer on his android. I uninstalled it at once, and warn him the dangers of PRC government overtaken tool softwares. the file manager was a wonderful tool, but now manipulated by PRC government for large scale surveillance, like it purchased hundred of once perfect software tools mostly created by individuals or small enterprises, esp rooting tools. my son noded. in night we co-operated online to assure his google voice forwarding phone enabling. but it turns out his forwarding phone consistently working for I called his google voice last year more than once, unlike my google voice never received phone call in last year, hence google require to re-verify to enable it. I told my son we should soon seek a grocer near our public spa so as not to lack fruits on our diet. I pray God grant me budget for the delicious food. my son now a considerable smart teenage, but he still hijacked by his sinful mother, who relentlessly challenged me and my parenthood. I warned my son not to frequent hospital, but last sunday soon after we returned from spa, he was arbitrarily brought by his mom left their house, left me alone updating his linux. they likely haunt eye hospital for my son's sight, on which the small woman recently fantastically obsessed. I told my son I day by day upset by Chinese teachers. they killing creativeness and smother orthodoxy. what a low moral they totally obtained! even worsen than PRC government employee!
God, dad, a new month starts yesterday, when we enjoyed downtown hostel pork steak so much. this month my credit debt again near 600 CNY. help me clear our debt and deal our daily budget lightly. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for spring 2018 just budding new life and hope of life. bring my son his enjoyed game and ready office space he will step in with affirmative. thx God dad.

a step closer, world democracy.

dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding to nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside.

God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, on the land my ancestor bestowned. I saw my old friends and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.

a invalid try to update my workspace.

Dreamt in class where my once junior middle school language teacher offering his lecture. While his speech too boring I cheated to cover my reading my own material. When he stepped down to check our listening, my heart beat heavier. But fortunately he didn’t found under my text book there was another book I hid my pleasure. I felt shameless the middle aged male teacher demands students so much to catch his lesson up while his teaching so boring and meaningless. This week half waiting my alumnus’ aid which never happened to buy my own another chromebox. I previously planned to equip my son a new convertible chromebook, but on Wednesday I was attracted by chromebox which cheaper and its ethernet interface card more powerful than a wireless card. I was inspired by the idea and pains brewing me in wanting upon which I knew on my own I can’t realize. So I resorted to my senior middle school alumni for fundraising 2000 CNY. One of them once the best scored and enrolled by most privileged PRC university, Beijing Univ, and visited my campus in Tianjin and slept my bed, to whom a year ago I entreated for aiding me to flying to visit my kid brother in southern China and got his ambiguous refusal. So this time I thought there was still cherished memories in our friendship, and his job likely earns much more than mine, for his major is international law or economics and worked in stock market after graduate. But this time, 1000 CNY as I expected solely, he again refused me and blacklist me without any word exchange, after my 4 sms and 3 buzzes sinked. I didn't bother contacting any other alumni after the denial. In the day after International Women Day, a snow continued after days break in my clueless reaching out. I still didn’t understand after looking into why someone put money before friendship and moral kindness. Is PRC economy turns harsher day by day for the once academic leader turned so mean? Or my enviable cyberspace harvest in a decade's blogging as well as holy missionary under God’s shine turns the wellbeing alumnus hatred and bitter to turn his back indecently to me? After the refusal I busy yesterday all day on my raspberry pi, preparing it more liable and useful. God sharpen my sight that my workspace already spacious and reliable, after all attempts constraining. In this dawn I felt hard to sleep, and bliss ahead so thick. So I got up before 6am to blog, for today would be a blessing exciting day with my son, woz, in our busy agenda learning and studying.
Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.

dusk down lunar largest holiday.

dreamt my publishing career got happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success, my narrative style studied by scholar and critics. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settled up arch linux, which renew my experience of dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution release. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns a full functional pc from toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns more hard to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for better meals with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant me another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year. Thx dad God.

tumbling night.

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime bravely to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even risky but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design.
last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead.
God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.

thick weeds of hatred around.

dreamt of bring my son traveling to my hometown. in suburb of our current town, passing a hotel we met many witches and wizards. some ambushed us. some cursed us. some stealed us. some transfered our appearance. in first attack, my son lost his outdoor baggage in a blink. second attack turned my son a disabled kid with damaged arms, lost his 2 mobiles I prepared 2 years ago. my son later told me he hide them in a place intact. we were heading to a bus stop where we will travel to Tianjin, north China where I graduated and broke my heart for a girl collegian. in Tianjin we will switch a bus then reach its railway station and head to our hometown in central China. in homeless and changing fake idol, we held each other firm against misleading exerted by those dark power. sometimes I want blamed my son according his performance but I later gave up, for they were forged and fake. some witch attempted to trade or threat, and attacked after our refusal. its a frightening dream. my neck turns more stiff and painful after nap. last night I ate too much, esp snack from street vendor near dorm gate and got sore water in throat midnight after woke up abrupt. I so gave up breakfast in canteen, and just napped. there were so many hatred in area of QRRS that I really felt. for example, the day before yesterday, a pile of dog shit or feces laid exactly front entrance of the dorm gate which using fence to narrow route. I after dinner and routine dusk jog started and in a blink stepped onto it through the limited gate. the night a middle size rain cleanse the dirty road. then in last dusk another small plastic bag in which likely bloods and dirts held laid there, pits the road block. a stubborn goat in his 60 or 70 constantly challenges me on my way jogging in dusk. twice the sin copied and according my changed route around the QRRS square just to facing me and deface my innocence. God grants my killing over the rubbish, the enemies of zhone Royal China. its a sunny noon now. I sunburn after lunch in the dorm minigarden, till nearby Senior middle school students came canteen for lunch. its very brilliant during recent clouds and rains. God dad, you guide me so far I didn't make any change around me. you tells me my security intact so far for future more widespread slaughter. yes dad God, I remember and trying remember the betray and profanation of my Royal China. grant me lighter heart for enjoying my daily bread and social times. bring me my Japanese Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for better future of felling PRC, failing Chinese on mainland. guarantee our spiritual uprising on Christian way. thx dad God.

dream before breakfast.

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad's voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom's close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu. the man over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting decades but he bred more than 6 children, contrary to planned parenting policy, just attempted to copy and overwrite my dad's glories. I have sibling of 6, that's long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, the village cadre first hand attended my dad's funeral and on air joined my phone call, told me I needn't return to see my dad's bury, after my mom's dubious mourning voice in the phone some twenty hours after my dad left us. he chased my dad hard and attracted most of my old family, sometimes includes me, by his cordiality. he must uncomfort in front of my dad, his shinny hero, or mirror of his sinful, his life's meaning. yesterday long time waited salary released. no more and no less ￥3227. within half hour I dispatched and solved it. I managed paid credit debt less to spare to pay more local debtee, dorm canteen operator who claimed in urgent expenditure. I didn't know if they satisfied for when I went to return money, they absent and his helping dad there accepted. God dad, I tending asking my kid brother to loan me to buy this month medicines. he long time attracted by the cadre relative, and envied my dad's glories. he even hated me under God's shine. in my first call back after my dad's passed by, he talked to me and seemingly hardly hide his relief. now he cover my boarding, ￥700 *13 yearly and hated cost even a dime more for my hard credit debt crisis. he took over my all credit cards and then told me he lost all of them. dad God, copycat or hidden enemies, graceless cheap souls, why it hurt us, dad, for they humiliate us? manifest me more on creativeness and sin of stealth. God, dad, my startup, zhone publication online bundled with 21 adorable domains, likely starts its life from my self-prove against my asylum trap. I never expected that, mental disorder after broken heart, or sleepless nights. my world ruined after the record of humiliating. I told my son's mom when I left the asylum 3rd time and claimed my only job since then would be my blog, my murmur of my meaningful universe. now it all brought about. and enemies of zhone feared. dad God, let justice and revenge in time to wash me, cleanse my glory of dents and dusts. dad, even I don't promise killings, I do promise righteous weightless baptism.

dreamt of poverty of no show.

dreamt in army or in army training camp. in break my schoolmates asked me to write them a song for talent show but I really in brewing. a quick shooter schoolmate already wrote a song which exaggerate those propagated emotions. when schoolmates trusted my comments, I went straight and dislike promoting normal feelings to sanity. but without show to entertainment those who admire you, can be really embarrassing. this week drizzled a lot. my quilt turns wet indoor. I continued to make well usage of my new raspberry pi. but buggy rtandroid made a hell experience with lagging and frequent exit and halts. I spent half day to realize its cheap toy and shouldn't put more load onto it. isn't its independent running os satisfying? isn't it hardware essentially for handy computing a real alternative? I found the fact in huge relief and started to enjoy our dear kodi in the night. then I can't help innovative re-config via command lines rather than GUI to spare nvram on my router for better performance. when all done and went to bed, I doubt how much it worthies while a dearer product will have much ample nvram not to considerate again and again. is my job cheap or funny? or I just educated? this morning when I launched to spare nvram on my router via escaping GUI saving settings, I even mistaken network down. I had to visit dorm lan administrator for help. the woman in charge of surveillance cold shoulders to me and I finally found my fault in setting. near 11 pm my target archived and I called it a day with bliss. while I busy with my todo, some of my environment turned hostile to me. the dorm canteen woman tentatively shown her despise. woman in dusk jog also reserved for my appreciation. I'm getting old and they shame of my humble and empty promise. many secret plots against me among hooligans around. God dad, I didn't saw my farewell show and nobody deserves to probe. dad God, I was contented with my life here with hopes and distresses. bring me sooner my Royal China with my prosperous offspring. bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for our better life and enjoyable harmony in daily arrangement. without Japan, without China in future world of economic and sustainable.

dream in prewar.

dreamt of social motivation. in dawn dream I was in team to allocate social resources. I assign reward for every personel enrolled, encode frequent used amount into quantity unit, embed short code replacing frequently used long terms like compression in propaganda slogans, which includes Zhao Benshang’s northeastern Chinese folk ballad, 二人转. civil war’s fog topmost heavy in the dream, we do our best to prepare for it. my old family’s enemy, the second husband of my aunt and his offspring, one of them is our neighbor in hometown village Zhudajiu, tempted me comment on his youngest brother’s performance, I said he is kind and popular. my passed mother in dream then asked me about myself, I said anyone know me would respect me. the enemy agreed. my mother glad upon my reputation. the dream is very clear and I needn’t hurry to blog after I woke up. this week I mostly peacefully enjoy silence before change. I watched more movies online, esp love movies which remind me of my broken love in Nankai Univ, and my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, when she studies abroad with us. I also bathed more in noon sunshine now that summer weather gradually steps in. Qiqihar this summer peculiarly cold among world report of increased temperature most places on the earth. last night I watched a Japanese episode, life in additional time. first episode about a youth values vocation more important than family and died on site and regret for his family he even didn’t know still loving him. second about common family how hard to find a better commodite like a richer meal in routine life. the good wife risk her life to bring a beef meal for her family before her decrease on rush road for discount meat. that reminds me of my burden in my trying best to support my son a better life so far, lends us to credit deficit. but I don’t regret, and only Christian saves China and Japan. only YHWH blesses world of no shortage but plenty in glory. out of him poverty and chaos breeds like rats and murders like norm, esp. in Buddhism and Islamic, in Asia and Africa. God, dad, thanks for the holy sign of rejoice. grant us a peaceful reunion this afternoon when I dine out my son grill mutton. dad, God, grant me more agile growth in my cyberspace existence. bring me my Royal China and its outline from distant view when I moulding Empire of China. fill my heart with love and brave. thx for the summer morning, God.

forever attending baby son, God of Universe.

yesterday is the day i treated baby son, warrenzh, owner of domain warozhu.com, second since my returned from hometown journey. i also bought myself a new pair of shoes i like from Fu-Mart. in my life i rarely bought myself clothes. before adulthood, clothes arranged by mother; early years after i worked from graduation, i put quite some of my deposit for kid brother's education, for my grand dad then dislike to hard labor work on stone product; in early years after married, the mother-in-law offered quite some old clothes of her second husband, a cadre just bankrupt his work unit. i in fact quite enjoy put on myself in my own taste or fashion. in the conjoined KFC, baby enjoyed KFC food as usual. i can be more glad to see he eating. his mom, emakingir, disliked cooking in her life so far, and baby son had to endure tasteless food, and grows a habit disliking routine meals, but snacks.
returned from shopping&snacking, i slept in dorm in afternoon sunshine. after woke up, i noticed a group of hooligans, about 8 men or more, lingered in the open space of the dorms babbling&poking&gambling for most of the day. they want to expand their influence over the graduates in the dorms. when i dial to report the high rank of QRRS on the unlawful&wrong management of the dorms' administration, the gangsters scattered. after dinner in the canteen, i rest on the bench again. soon an elder with a small bag approached me and asked where is the dorm. i told him but felt strange. then my cellphone reminds me time to join the preach in nearby church. the Priest elaborated a lot on Satan, let a demon aside me groan. after the preach i discussed it with the Priest, i told him i more glad to hear of faith and love from Bible. in dorm i slept as usual around 9pm, but visited a guy in the dorm who playing online shooting game. i was likely caught in nightmare, dreamed live with a foreigner, then in campus or office i can't move or stand up. i felt the evil of the old man in dusk in the dorm attempting to talk with me. then a sudden thunderstorm woke me up. its strong and speedy, i watched it a sight then slept again. i breakfast when i still pale in morning night, but it turns brilliant now since i joined office.
God, its my first time reunited with baby son, Hope of China, God of Universe, warrenzh, since u admits me pursue my new marriage from my second hometown journey and a short period lingering in his mom's house to attend him. God, let me sooner rest in my new home with my beloved girls, to carter baby son in best harmony and peace in soul. God, i trust u, bring my girls to my arms, we all in our best time now and to come.

25/7/2010

visit baby son in his mom's home.^visit baby son as scheduled. backup new stuff, mostly pc games,from web to dvds. reviewed finance log with baby's mom,emakingir, who found some faults but finally likes the site,buxfer.com&started to make use of it. prepared new games on notebook for baby. lunched there but daunted by dinner which too simple. showered&made a contract with ema to pay her to wash my clothes every week.
enjoy talk with baby on air.^dined in dorms' canteen, with some shrimps. sorted infected os. buzzed baby twice for the elation of God's glory among us. slept later than 10pm&didn't brush teeth.

24/7/2010

amend finance records.^read all day. dozed twice. d/l delayed me&left office near 6pm. dinner again not so satisfying. bought&ate watermelon after roamed outside. met the only Hubeier in QRRS near dorm's door. he talking on his cell, so i just evade him&enter my room. the first day i returned to dorm he called in for loan. during jog my shoes wrecked. buzzed baby's mom about the effect&surplus after i verified personal finance log on buxfer.com.
dreamed in love.^dreamed with my beloved girl, &brothers or pals, in a tour. we tried to attach fireworks onto balls in motion. a bit sleepy after got up. lingered&breakfast then join office, where the porter shown hostile yesterday when i arrived a bot earlier. its a quite bright morning.
check family google sites.^assess family assets, esp. that with google, like sites&blogspot. some broken linkages need actions but hold on. baby's mom, emakingir, let me query departmental clerk for reimbursement accord to corporate policy, i was told the clerk glad to let baby's grandma to fetch it like she previously did. hopeful i can do some replacement of worn shoes or clothing with the money. i promised ema buying her a electronic motorcycle.
check my brand online.^read&d/l all day. the facing demons tentatively/elicit shown gay tendency, one of them left lately. google my id&researched why my name appears in a joke site, pjoke.com, but can't find who input my name there with a praying heart. China surveillance also frequently blocked my googling amid. God, bring my girls to me sooner!

benzrad's comments on the day

22/7/2010

the dorms' canteen turns worse.^d/l delayed me near an hour. the canteen again used bad food&hurt my teeth. rested on bench then haunted outside. drizzled some minutes when i passed by the place i met the QRRS high rank yesterday. bought sausage&ate in dorms open space. buzzed baby who unhappy with his mom&expressed my love. washed shirt manually for the dorms' laundry bankrupted. in music&felt fit.

21/7/2010

dubious gawker around glory of Son.^read while d/l. dined almost on time. rest on the bench again. quite some dubious persons lingered around. the thunderstorm let many streets, including some in QRRS dorm covered with water. haunted outside then roamed in the open space of QRRS dorm. a cop surveillance me when i watched a collective dance. buzzed baby&slept before 10pm.
dreamed of my inauguration in dawn.^got up to make water among sound sleep. dreamed of my inauguration as Emperor of China. but my beloved girls seemingly didn't appear, but my sisters and some of my relatives join the ceremony. breakfast with porridge and buns. last night in jog met the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, who also jogging with his wife. that reminds me life's passing and years biting&beating most people witness my growth, glory of God's way. its a sunny morning now.
read most day while d/l.^a busy day digesting news feeds. i felt so glad to see the dawn&online in the beginning of the day. listening online radio, which starts with a Japanese song, at noon break. the wrecked soul in facing desk at once interfered like a barking dog for lower volume. all afternoon enjoyed reading even among bites from the devil. God, im thankful for the day&what i done in it.

World need see clear the impotent of nowadays China. Jul 23, 2010 4:33am by Benzrad Zhu thx the author insightful review on technology in nowadays China, quite shocking but just assures my guess on the real source or potential of Chinese technology today. China will never update itself under current social-political architecture, i can assert with any risk, for the ruling philosophy is hatred, rubbery, coward, dumping of Chinese traditional core ethic, like any long life society, honesty and diligence. China in communism totally a miracle and disaster, like a cheat from its long time enemy, Russia, to bail out Chinese real treasure for sold cheap. Communism China is a dumping of torture, dark, stealth, and pouring out of dirt among eastern and western. its a death and abnormal. China, in its best blessed, in title of Zhu, the last Emperor of last native nationality, steers into new Empire under God’s shrine&shine, for the glory of YHWH. a merging reality for most Chinese grows everyday on this scary land since its fall in Ming Dynasty, i vow i, benzrad, 朱子卓, my Royal of China, leading it. Amplify’d from www.dapenti.com [一种声音]从电子行业看中国的科技现状 xilei 发布于 2010-7-23 10:46:00 看到一些弱智在网上宣扬中国有多么强大，似乎要一统天下了，这些人要么是被收买的，要么是真的无知。长话短说，本人作为一个10年的电子工程师，就从电子行业看中国现状。 我记得增经看一个机械工程师说的，如果离开德国的母机，中国的机械行业就彻底完蛋。 世界离开中国，生活成本或者生产成本会略高一点，但也就几个百分点而已，因为中国其实也就在整个产业链中占据着利润最低，产值最小的一个环节而已，也就帮老外在组装阶段省了几个人公费。 国家的悲剧在于没有进步的希望，和国外的差距越来越大。 来源：科学堂 链接：http://scienceroom.net/current-of-electronics-industry-in-china-650.html Read more at www.dapenti.com

From 1st gathering after settled in QRRS dorms

From 1st gathering after settled in QRRS dorms

From 1st gathering after settled in QRRS dorms

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for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.

early moon in dusk over QRRS.

baby son, warrenzh, 朱楚甲, with his favorite KFC steamed corn stick.

most beloved Son, benzrad&warrenzh, 朱子卓和朱楚甲, 深情的神情。

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Posted via email from zhuson, united US and China in one under God's shine. ╋中美一家神

From 1st gathering after settled in QRRS dorms

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Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉