my graduation snow.

 these days in peace of enjoy time's elapse companion. but last night I sincerely praying God's mercy for my been shamed: the nearby restaurant of a couple in which the wife is tall shut door for me. the husband ruthlessly turned close door in front of me, the wife sit her table motionlessly, while I trying bringing just bought sunflower seeds for her to kill time. the night before yesterday the waitress in another restaurant tentatively persuaded me not to shift remnant of sticky bean stuffed bun to her after I shared some of them with them. they insecure while I have several restaurant options or emotional supports. last night I talked a lot with the latter restaurant waitress about my life, my future. the waitress in her 40's and previously a worker of QRRS where I still on its payroll. she lacks the grace to see holy glory, so she more or less mean. I talked more about my obligation to God, she more thought about money where she worked for with me and her boss. dear God, on the way back dorm, I felt more miserable in which I tried to show my admire & love for the tall woman who refuted. in the night i prepaid 41 CNY for next meal and she sms back, only granted me a normal customer's role. I bid bye and well wish for her in last exchange & set free myself for new inspiration: tall, independent, smart girl. dear God dad, the snow really clueless. last night I can't bear heat and removed blanket from cover after adopted it for a week. the night my right knee didn't sore, so coldest winter might just passed by. God dad, I really looking forward this summer heat might restore my hands & legs' sound status. dear God, no one saw your mercy as much as I did. before my life into ash, bring me new blood & grace. my debt to dorm canteen successfully cleared, and in your mercy, they graciously accepted my decision to cancel laundry contract. this month my salary again less than 3000 CNY, dear God dad, I hardly afford writing off new laundry bill with new contractor. help me God, u know how I enjoy my meals and how CCP hated that & viciously attempted to ruin it. let them bark, or let the Son intact.

a gracious day.

yesterday is a huge grace.the night before yesterday I bought a bag of pop corn then shifted rest to neighbor young ladd to eat, and promised will bring over some fruits next day. so yesterday before dusk jog I check ATM to assure my card has enough remnant. what a surprised after found my salary account even larger surplus than when this month released, which likely below 2200. then I decided celebration for the grace. I bought a larger cluster bananas from nearby supermarket. then I visited 1st restaurant, California noodle, where I previously told the young boss not loose management in exchange of obvious cheap gatherings of jobless women or homeless, for clients dislike losers. the boss glad to received my 3 bananas. then I visited 2nd restaurant where the tall wife of the boss attracted me a lot. I offer the couple 3 bananas, one for their daughter. there was a table of customers there, mainly elders of QRRS, esp a retired manager of QRRS at a loss. they stunned by my kindness & generosity, stood to ask for my acquaintance. I tried twice but unable to recognized who they belong, so I complimented that anyone in QRRS knows the tall man, and I was a crew of deputy ccp leader Zhou. they appreciated. then I visited 3rd restaurant, a newly open one, where I ate lunch the day and missed my phone & purse first time when I left but the boss woman delivered them back to me. they r likely suburban peasants, the woman has admirable chest but less long legs, as peasant woman usually has. she is charming. I offered her a banana & promised next week I will come back. then i visited 4th restaurant, where 2 young waiters open the door for me, I treated them each banana for thanks of service. back to dorm, I exchanged one with the porter woman. after settled in dorm room, I visited neighbor kid with 3 bananas. he is a short ladd & cunning. he cautious upon my gift, I said, now that u thought u have a different larger future, why afraid of this small pieces? he accepted gladly. in my work space,ie. radio music, I suddenly want to see the first restaurant where the waitress cordial, so I visited it again lately around 7 pm. I drank a cup of coffee, ate a dish of pickle. the young boss disliked me for he was enjoying his elder female waitress' companion. on way, I bought a case of ice cream for the kids, and a beer. I visited the dorm canteen, to whom I just paid back 1000 cny for their loan near 2000 in last decade. they eating their dinner, and invited me. It was all right when I left. the night I felt so much bliss in sharing food. in dawn dream, I brought my family visiting my hometown. My passed mom preparing our dinner and asked me to fetch some water from village well. I carried my son on shoulders & headed out. on the road several elders rested aside. I asked to buy some melon for my son, they replied u can take as long as u can bite. but I gladly found I always carry tools with me, as my worker father exemplified me, so I free eating the sweet melon with my son with our Swiss army knife kit purchased online benefits us so much. 

 Dear God dad, It's again a sunny morning. I will attending the tall woman's restaurant soon after this blog. dear God, I never expected my life so rich & gracious. I pray full heart for descending greater grace in my rest life which not too long. dear God, in this shabby world, I still in faith u can fix my painful fingers like a fiddle. Thanks, dear dad.

snow white girls, snow right 2020.

recent 2 days a bit chiller, still it's a surprise this dawn. i fought pains to put on myself, for my work, for my main meal 2 hours later. in dawn lingering dream, my 2nd elder brother gathered some of his pals as well as relatives to treat his son's loath of woman. we ate inner organs of animals, and I felt the tissue is delicious. then dream CCP tried all means to let its credit system hurt me, for I spend against their limitation attempts put on me, turning any normal debt into credit war. they nowadays punishing alipay for it granted my virtual credit by delayed its IPO. in past week, I wrote a lot in my alumnus weixun group, expressed my admire for a girl alumnus now in USA. a bad guy of my alumnus attempted to profane me, I defended hardly, with glory of my ancestor. in the days, I saw clearer that my emotional life was as pale as a piece of paper, I desperate for love.
but not all disappointing: last night i dialed my beloved alumnus, Wangyf, who refused my messages for decade in my siege of love dance of words, she picked up even my phone number possible clearly show my area location. she seemingly wightened by doubts, and hanged after my twice insisted declared first my name. dear God DAD, I'm so proud of her. she is a tall girl in our campus. another girl now in USA, May lee, also refused talk to me after exchanged 3 or more sentences. I mean to have them, for we don't have affair but deep cares, for better life and soul partnership.
It's a new week now, dear God dad, improve my painful hands now, let my life easier & enjoyable. let my meal budget spacious. dear God, my life has been so gracious. thanks Holy Spirit.

dreamed of my passed parents.

this morning failing PRC surveillance abrupt disabled my secure connection & forced me to change password. in the dawn, i dreamed my passed dad helps me design office, likely my once QRRS colleagues'. then dreamed my passed mom trusted me to clean my kid brother's hairs from bugs. yesterday I felt loneliness after settled in dorm. i got showered in public spa where i satisfied by the mopping worker and i bought him a bottle of juice. on way back i bought some oranges & shared with a restaurant, dorm guard woman, a young man in the dorm. recently I like to share my food with others, for that makes me happier. as Royal China, my most important thing is dealing respects, respect holy, respect common people. and that's why CCP & it's dog so hated my kindness. dearest God dad, my most relied hand, these 2 days more or less senseless. help improve my hands, dear God, let my life easier.

on countryland fruitful.

this week most exciting thing is improved salary, even a mean restaurant female acquaintance guessed it's due to heat subsidiary included. with it, I well reinforced my workspace with renewals, credit refills, etc. boosted by the saint aid, I video chatted with my hometown junior middle school classmates to express my gratitude, appreciation of their life so far persistent against perishment & shabbiness, not like a blind chaser of mine, now a deputy professor in northwest China now barely cope with his living standard. one of them, once always shown best of him with jokes now millionaire, with 3 growing-up children & confident in himself even more. i also paid back quite some debter of mine. i treated myself & my son nice dinners. recently i turned opener & more talkative among my frequent restaurants, spoke out my situation, esp my extraordinary aging body, my concern of CCP surveillance upon me years. I pray God it's affordable to befriend them there. the new Japanese heating blanket soon lets my leg stronger, eases my pains & resumes my body's flexibility in a sensible warm way.  passed week also saw failing PRC surveillance hardly afford their failure to sink my web site, yesterday they using their old dirty skill to let my site down, even my web app is newest version. I restored it all the morning. God's mercy, I afford it. dear God, in several days, I will have a itch killer rack, 2 larger capable udisks for portable storage, at hand, as long planned but unable to carry out, God dad, how i felt satisfying! in this golden morning, I will soon launch & shower. I see your promised, dad God, i saw your promise filled, esp my anxiety upon my workable road toward my destiny so far. dear God dad, let's move on.

dream upon new heating blanket

yesterday I managed to equip myself another heating blanket after found first one failed to save my wet bedclothes. dorm canteen & my 2nd elder sister helps. in the night I a bit harder to sleep for the great new gear of Japanese brand but finally slept & felt considerably warm & dry in dawn. in dawn dream, I was passing QRRS, the SOE employed me for more than 2 decades, & passing crowd to my dorm, but it turns out my hometown home, my parents' house, where my dad received me among folks & told me my mom just passed by. in fact, my dad passed before my mom's. when I tried to perceive what an emotion upon my lose of my mom, I abrupt informed my mom & dad's memory pack cataloged under ding & dang title, say /system/ding, or etc a fork of a porting system. the dream chased me to blog, so my rest of sleep ruined even I loathed to get up. dear God, last night my son & i enjoyed peace. he seemingly glad I ordered him Mcdonald deliver which was a bit late for I not sure if It blissful during my hard financial time. dear God dad, in this sunny morning, I left no regret upon my life. my site under attack again, likely PRC surveillance blacklist my server ip & let it inaccessible, no, after a busy morning correcting & testing, inc online proxy, in fact, it was dog first time changed their target from my database to web app's script, aiming sink my site's serving, now that database maintenance would be easier, they don't know stealth & robbery doomed to fail, like hooligan CCP & PRC abnormal after bitchy Marxism ghost fading the world in cheap & devastating Muslim, manifesting how cheap & how human spices different graciously. dear God, lessen my anxious upon it, let my new family more sensible.

a golden dawn babbling.

the chilly dorm let my fingers swollen again, but God's mercy, my body just workable for daily life, even more time & pains covering chores, like put up, mopping floor, etc. recently I equipped myself 2 small laptop blankets, which effective warms up my knees. previously I bought a full size blanket for laptop, but holy message let me bought it which proving very helpful on bed against dorm chill. last night holy spirit lets me ordered my son a Mcdonald deliver & my son enjoys it even a bot late. this morning in warm quilts, I dreamed likely in a candidate campaign team. I using a tool likely offline downloader to multi-accounts management, simulating actual polling or voting. I dreamed other matters but forgot now them. dorm water supply down this moment, but God, I just got my warm keeping plastic bag filled, and tea prepared. when i got up it's pal and smoggy, but now morning sunshine so golden. dear God, my websites recently under lots attacks but now it turns stronger and I will see the final laugh. I proud of them, so simply while viable. Holy just prepared me readier for it, like database backup. PRC surveillance hired zombie hackers just wasted their money & cheap youth. dear God, in this first clear memorized dream since my re-blogging, I will end it with prayer for my emerging 1109 years Empire of China as persistent leading successful Empires of Great British and Japan. God dad, home me after half life roaming in my forbidden city.

cosy nap after sunburn jog, and rich dinner.

today a bit special: in half decade i first ate an elegant dinner for celebrating sudden nap in late afternoon. that's likely due to recent thick tasks to restore my son and my workspace, esp brunch framework based chromeOS on our nuc. this afternoon i even tried to re-enable my todo list management via google tasks and my web app at https://agarten.in. after enjoyed it so much in last 9 years then broke by PRC surveillance, now i know my work experience matters much than any others. i really like my workspace. holy spirit sees why i can live them alive again. my son's workspace recently wrecked by his harshness & inexperienced, I didn't expect to help him restored it, for God just let me visit him on my not real birthday, Sep 27, then i found him joined his school, however, the grandma open the door for me, and i worked there till dusk, reinstall windows, linux, android x86, etc. when my son returned from school, on dinner table, I babbled my job & he satisfied by my demonstration of new OSes. but still i less buzzed him recently, say, last night i muted all time, even i want to chat him. i saw his inconvenience not to lie to me if i insist to understand him closely. dear God, he needs free space to develop his vision, not responsible for me or anyone in the world. dear God, this dinner let me so full and complacent that I peacefully watched a movie online without call anyone amid chilly dorm room. dear God, if aging really your arrangement, why not I accept it? I felt the joy in peace of doze. grant me more freedom of body resilience, in long run, I have faith greater grace upon me, dad, I 'm bidding you, let my life more activities, esp my infant. thx, dad God, bring me sooner my partner of life. in this deep night, my singer for harmony is truely.

cloudless highland from dirty messy canteen kitchen.

dreamt first at hometown where a wedding ceremony underwent. then found it was my marriage. there are many traditional protocol in ceremony. the cousin, ie. the first son of my dad's elder brother, and his mom, who long time envied my family's luck, meddled in traditional practices with their evil intention. in the end, our tribe entrusted to train ourselves for ethnic war and fatal adversity. then dreamt Elon Musk, with his father, both successful entrepreneur. I wondered why them driven to be so diligent even overactive. then lengthily a dream about family affair at hometown but now I forgot it now after late sleep. QRRS, my once long time employer, dispatching its annual rice coupon, I was informed by departmental cashier last dusk to fetch this morning. so I at once went over to fetch it. the refurnished HQ of the SOE has a gorgeous ground hall in which sunny and spacious. with this coupon my weekend reunion with my son will be glorified. I just broke contract with dorm canteen after its operative family shown despise. I now will hunt for meal everyday and risk penniless every living. I buzzed my younger brother who had been supporting my dorm canteen boarding for 3 years or so, monthly ￥700, about the change, but he yet not offered the aid direct to me after the cancelled deal. last night I thought of my financial hardness, my pinched purse which only left less than dozen bucks, and I recognized my support to my son's pocket money in a season, ￥800 remit to his alipay account boosted by last month's exceptional strong salary, near 6000 CNY around thanksgiving holiday. my dearest son cares about my empty promise to prepare his monthly pocket money 250, but in last year it constantly shift to other usage, say recent 2 purchases of computers. this poor niche now again confronted with premature requisite. God dad, brine me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asohu Yukiko, for coming glory. grant us independent finance. rid me sooner PRC merciless surveillance, insane cheap braking dog around with 24*7 espionage, esp on upper floor where they relentlessly made noise to notify their meddling. grant us happy weekend with dine out Mcdonald. thx God in this sunny winter morning when I freed from routine canteen breakfast hussle and totol free agenda like a hunting bee.

among hardened PRC surveillance & mob hateful.

dreamed my university era artist friend, Benba Chungdak. at first with his friend Li Moufeng, in the campus I familiared. then in Benba's house or my house we at leisure. my son joined our conversation. Benba in dream now a well know artist. we talked a lot. my son trusted our guest and learned. my dorm internet under a new wave of surveillance and breakin attempts. I already gave up router but client, which also sometimes unstable. new weekend arriving, there is a new blockbust PRC granted to import, Antman 2. my son chose it from 2 other optional USA films on show recently. he also delayed my invitation to visit my dorm this weekend, rather he will invite his peer in his house, likely for gaming and entertainment. It's a cool morning. wardless web turns so hard to archieve now. I more and more speechless now, amid hardship tyrant PRC exerts upon my living sphere. there are more state intelligent agents in QRRS Dorm around my room here to surveillance me 7*24, costly on PRC fragile totalitarian treasury. God dad, how long we will wait for the overturn, I in faith of the future out of burning campfire among insanely pressed domestic nations. in bitter reality, I hope it fosters revolution rips us off the poorly endangered dictation. bring me sooner my Royal China. my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, come and overturn my prison our enemies engulfed. live us freedom, so to China bitchy mob, jobless riot. game changer, Dad God, let out the active agenda for the sake of better China. thx God, survivor is U.S.

dream of certainty.

last night watched a talk show of Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. his easygoing charactor deeply touched me. turth of life, of fortune, of mission, expand in front of me. in dawn dream, I worked for him, then in army, both reveals truth, or secret of success, course inchangeable. aging let me harder now to memorize dream, but its scenario conforts me. it's a boring morning. the ugly lesbian again lingered in the shabby neighbor room chattering, pretending she had a job there. the whole dorm administrative team moved from their offices seperate into the dorm, mimic my office in dorm. they can't believe they doomed to lose their jobs. their cheap copycat deprives their means of living. they are all thieves in fact, or robbery of innocent. the room in my upper direct floor likely occupied by state backed intelligent agent. they constantly made noise in key situations trying to coerce me. my new chromebox frequently encountered abnormal quit, likely hacked by PRC government online. my son last night just returned from his mom's hometown journey. they visited again the woman's relatives in their hometown, a small town hours away by train. I hope my son enjoy it but affraid he was hijacked by his stupid mom in fact. hours later I will reunite him for lunching out and shower in spa weekly. my new chromebox not only securer, but largely changed my workflow and efficiency. I now consume news most of workday, rather than prevously only in the begining of moring, restricted by portable device for desktop windows might fail me in its insecure. last night I check my alipay credit, found my installment total near ￥900, which much a relief for my monthly return alipay ￥1300 and stumbled about uncommon expenditure. made clear of debt base, I immediately recharged our mobiles fee, around 300 CNY. God dad, lift my dependence on my local loaner, who might turning reluctant. grant us a richer salary this month for I due to pay some extra bills including medicine, clothes, etc. secure my worksapce with findings, revealing truth our mission concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for ease of living. let me stay in self-contain upon life stream and social motivation. guarantee my cyberspace publishing booming and plenty of self-rely.

dream of alumni during travel.

dreamed with my alumni, likely 3 or 4 members, some with family, in traveling from Beijing to Tianjin, my university campus, then to our hometown, Wuhan, central China. they are likely my senior middle school alumni, esp some studies harder than me and enrolled by more elite university like Peking Univ., or Tsinghua Univ. one of them with his daughter while I always felt honor and glory with my son in heart in dream. the alumnus likes details, so we check our package times and times, esp ticket and private items. I later gave up and just let him to take care of those stuff for me. traveling, once so demanding task for otherwise you will punished so heavily that I sensed in dream again the unrest and changes uncertain as well as our future unborn promising. this is a clean and clear morning, after last night rain. I wondered about my miserably separated from my son and who exerts behind. Last Sunday I told my son I reviewed history of his mom's mother's intervene with her elder sister, an mad cow, just after his birth, tried to keep my baby from my reach. their plots long time aiming deprive me of my son, which still on going.
after breakfast I tried to read and re-napped due to sleepy. I visited a guy likely my alumnus Peng Jinglei. he worked in a remote area in PRC likely Xinjing. we first met his father-in-law and his son. his naughty son soon broke my glasses. the grandpa tried to repair it while his daughter returned from her school as she is a teacher. when I teased the boy with English words, Peng returned and exchange our review on each life since graduation. Peng likely satisfied by his life and cautious about our visit. when wrote this blog, I recognized that the guy can be a QRRS colleague, who now a high rant manager here. he migrated from Xinjing after graduate and later moved his old parent here, away from the turbulent western area. he married a cadre's daughter in QRRS and lately didn't have child. he might lead a careful life for his father-in-law might be as bossy as previously. his father-in-law in dream reminds me he can be another elder, my son's mom's lesbian girlfriend's dad. he once be an educator, now had some skill and knowledge, but as I claimed once in my blog, no one in their elder respectable in sinful PRC except my passed dad.
this 2 dream so vivid that a bit strange in my recent life. I more and more lost patience and faith in dreams, once so meaningful and promising. God dad, I recently so hateful upon my life who bored me into tears. bring me sooner my Royal China for 1109 years in future world. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my aging and offspring. grant us financial ready for glory of the Son and his people, his family support. affirm faith in praying heart, and glory of more achievement ahead.

under heavy siege from posting on wall eventually.

these 2 dawns both dreamed of enemies and my revenge. yesterday on my jog route, the old sinister, an elder man, a mad cow, again challenged me physically, took a narrow way in advance me. he copied my route twice, always bragged his mule energetic and orthodox. It really disgusting me but I trusted God the killing upon profane, anytime anywhere. it took me longer to roam when I caught sight of my mission on the earth progresses so step by step and devising broken. God dad, enemies took our road to sabotage our beautiful world's descending. near my dorm, the neighbor room of my dorm, is a half size room previously for cleaner keeping tools, now occupied by dorm administrative staff, a likely lesbian. dorm authority previously never put woman among mans' area, but the cheap cow insisted lodging among all man dorms, just for steal and spying me. day by day it hided herself in the shabby shelter to surveillance me, to profane me. likely she arranged that to take advantage of public asset for private interest, or the SOE under PRC tyrant's direction to threaten me with the trick. as to larger aspect, these 2 weeks quite satisfying: dorm internet access upgrade to chinaunicom fiber optics, whose download speed stable at 2MB/s. upload speed almost the same. I completed downloading OSes on our raspberry pi within 2 hours for 2 or 4 system images. with the utility, I can safely try more Linux distributive and more prepared for Linux world which so attractive comparing Microsoft under PRC blackmail. now my son and my raspberry pi both equipped with more elegant OSes, ready to go further and higher on the ward free informative universe. the ISP in the pass week gradually picked up to surveillance me. it already blocked me 2 days last week, forced me surfing domestic sites includes its homepage, where I found cheap but gracious mobile phone number with modest data plan, 15 CNY/mon. I had already persuaded by its sms to have a free of charge deputy phone number, but later contact refuted me saying the data plan includes deputy card requires at lease 128CNY/mon consuming. but on the website, I saw an independent phone number only costs 30CNY, so I immediately ordered one, in rhythm of rain in an aimless night besieged by deadly blockage from open web. It's so meaningful and rewarding, that I can't wait to add the new asset to all my zhone GA contacts. Monday express informed me the arrival of the sim card and I fetched immediately, even the staff of the unicom missing and handled over her colleague. Sunday I busy with trying enable other 2 GA chrome device management within google admin panel before woz returning from his painting class his mom arranged years. even failed due to google policy, we glad the 2 GA didn't bundled with central administrative which usually bans full google play store access, as status quo. my son uncertain about my blame last Monday upon his adopting a corrective glasses his mom suggested in favor of Chinese so said innovation, but never trustworthy. he tried to flattered me by turning on English podcast proactive as I frequently urged while he always loosed to abid. but I don't care, and glad to reunite him in the fruitful weekend. his internet ISP once boasted speed of 30MB but never satisfying, rather just lagging and broken frequently, likely in PRC surveillance's ordain. I even can't update his Linux smoothly there. each time when I visit my son and launch update, it's bottle neck and upset our patience. God laughs the dirty trick and burning brains wasted among all ghosted communism China wholely in ash. God dad, I'm so contented by my new internet that I here end this post soon. grant my son satisfying web and rich content of play. grant us ward free web, for otherwise I see only darkness of dictator propaganda, coarse of manipulation of social consciousness. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me closer my dream land and peace of God's mercy upon Chinese and China, my vested land from my glorious ancestor. thx for this sunny morning, Dad God.

dreamed alumus on her door.

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumni who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our school girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern country side scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm to breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine. my life more and more turned like an elder, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenges, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually had less than a bowl meat in a week there. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is to gathering my son, woz. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my wrecked shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when turned wet, now replace by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad.

woz enters 13th earth year.

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ￥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ￥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz's birthday cake a dearest one, ￥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓语. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 and a Chinese sound like "揉", both like kangaroo or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8am and loudly outside. I saw in this days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives and creativeness. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

woz with his 13th birthday cake.

dream of panther in hometown village.

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered into other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including with infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it fearful and enjoy ourselves each other. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shifted by someone from yard to dorm corridor sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ￥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population, largest wastes on earth. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own word and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

using of job

Introducation:

last weekend I left my son in gaming on his new flip chromebook earlier, partially evaded his messy mother's beg for aid to support my son's living. I recorded her loan ￥700/mon to support my son's living expenses, which mounts to near ￥20,000 so far, and told her I penniless each month with my bills and poor salary. my son last night likely upset by his mom's attitude and shown no respect of my query of his ongoing updating his wintel. he don't know his mom's failure and harm in her family education, as normal cheap Chinese.

KeyNote:

dreamt at my hometown in my summer campus vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizzahub. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop run by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary'a house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SWE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant appearance among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

overseas friendship forever memorized: Asus product from Amazon China.

Note:
the chromebook brings another equipment of linux into zhone workspace. never too overestimate to celebrate its fitting our need upon coming US and China trade war. its so smartly slim. I hope my son enjoy it as his new first gaming gear. God dad, how a larger surprise can be after turbulent customs deterrence and hostile PRC surveillance? God dad, its the largest gift we have now, in your mercy.
Main Content:
dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsource us to another bus. then we passed by a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with update windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. its quick smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't dissatisfy me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China.

our parcel deterred 3rd times at Beijing customs.

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast very rich, including hundreds of cuisines. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food there. It's a brilliant morning, when I can't help first to do is check my parcel's delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery way, amazon did and assured the forecast, we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it's not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

waiting for new arrival.

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic.
God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.