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Monday, January 22, 2018

peaceful bliss in dawn 2018

dreamt of holiday at my hometown. we visited our relatives in neighbor
village, where I was bitten by ants. they painlessly gathered herds
all over my body. my brother-in-laws, sisters help me after I showered
to check if I was cleaned, around a camp fire before leaving the
village. some neighbor kids also watched. they put on me so many
clothes that I took off many time to assure sanity. the ants' bites
likely drained bloods, no pains at all, their size is smaller. I was a
bit in panic. Last week too beautiful to miss. My son visited my dorm
last Friday, when we worked together trying fix his problem with
eclipse C++ compiling. His mom arranged him learning programming
lesson, which likely just sending him some slideshow. I tried to
introduce him ubuntu & eclipse. But I seldom had expertise on eclipse.
So I have to put more efforts to ensure my son's interest as well as
familiarity with the IDE, till he really works with the tool, leaving
his windows counterpart, dev c++ as his teacher adopted, no where. We
almost fix compiling untill my son tried more on his own programming
codes then compiling errors missing component, which clueless for us.
So next day I searched web for more tutorial ebooks to download. I in
fact gained some copies of pirated ebooks, and I prepared reader on my
son's ubuntu aiming to his reference readily. God dad, help my son
find his joy in programming, and persistent on doing his things right
& joyful. In the same night my son ported in my dorm, my salary
released, ¥4276, such a surprise that we both glad. With it I renewed
woz's domain, woga.me to its maximal years godaddy allows. Next day,
ie. Sunday, I reset & setup again our google home mini, for
unsatisfied by restriction non-English user inherits within google
home app. This time I got online chat aid from google, which assured
me none GPS discrimination but just Language determines user interface
and more choices within, say voice matching, optional voice male or
female. We finally got human voice option, more voice commands
available after switched to English on our nexus. Its such a huge
success that we both glorified. We then dined in downtown hotel
restaurant where we absent for 3 weekends, partially their service
less attracting. But this time we fed well, porks delicious and
enough. In salon I offered ¥20 as tips for wonderful service there,
and last time they resumed my missing renewal there, as gratitude.
After shower in public spa, I found our cyber shopping, an amzon China
parcel due to arrive last Wednesday delayed so far arrived. Another
order, 2 cushions from taobao.com arrived same day. My son was brought
by his mom to visit dentist, so I brought 2 parcels lately around 6pm
to visit my son again. My son looking out for the rechargeable
batteries badly and we cheer up with the new stock of batteries. Its
such a nice day that in the night I gave up episodes watching as
reconciliation upon PRC surveillance heavily blocking online from poor
PRC culture products. Dad God, this blessing morning what can compare
with your mercy in my situation? Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal
China for final solution upon coming crisis in the world. Bring me my
Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our offspring healthy &
strong sanity.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

in dirty of elders.

last night dirty spying eyes pestered me a lot. I saw lots of sexual
scenarios, esp my familiar individuals around me, like dorm canteen
operative woman, a staff of the canteen who helps my laundry. Its
normal dusk when I went to canteen. When I felt good I asked some wine
from the operative woman & handed over ¥5 as reward. I just want to be
joyful & sharing my gratitude. Then sexual emotion likely aroused in
the dorm canteen, esp in the 2 women. After dinner I went to joy as
usual. On the road I saw lots of sexual scenes mindfully I once
experienced when I in doomed love which broke me up back to 2001 when
I left Qiqihar to Nankai Univ, Tianjin, seeking my master degree. I
know mostly women there love me, and I sometimes inspired by them. But
I dislike unreal sex esp out of my loved one. I always pray my
peaceful soul partner, not indecent ones. That heaps of unblessed
illusions reminded me this week an elder man I didn't know approached
me in my dusk jog twice. He likely the husband of an elder woman who
frequented me in my jog and some cases when I on way to visit my son 3
bus stop away. Every time she rode a bike. I at once thought in her
elder what business can she have for such a busy route. Especially a
time on my way to visit my son, she rested aside street and acquainted
me. I just wonder how she made a living wilder around the street. I
quit my eye of mind at once, as none of my business in that moment of
anxiousness. Now I'm almost sure that the insane elder woman in her
show cheating me in her stalking me. Each time she talked to me, her
husband, the old gay would appeared in my jog and trying talk to me,
but I just reckoned him QRRS workers once known me, and never lingered
more in my mind as unpleasant nod. Now I know the man's real ID. In
this week after the insane woman acquaintance on her evasive riding
again in my jog, the man pushed his way into accompany me single
minded, each time in dark area of my route. First time he claimed he
noticed me watching my watch, which I never did. I mistaken him to ask
for time, so I search my pants pocket for watch to help me, the coward
at once ran away, likely thought weapons in my pocket. After 2 days
disappeared, he approached me again in front of QRRS square, chatting
he noticed my route against usual people's route there exercise,
trying selling his research of me, or proof of his stalking. I just
noticed aside a car turning around and the gay shamed then disappeared
again. I never look him nor look back. The dirty illusive scenes all
likely exerted by the sinful couples, they abused my well behavior.
From my poor mother's grass root, I always resolved for poor diligent
women, but didn't know the difference between normal elder woman's
life, and those of the out of shape. Last night I struggled to escape
the fallen & dishonored, till I research my chromebook's replacement,
new chromebook with android apps. I found amazon China selling this
kind of products usually blocked within PRC. In the night I dreamt a
lot purchasing the 2 notebooks for my son & my own notebook
replacement. I dreamt fought in sea with 2 battleship with same name
derived from new chromebook I found at the e-commercial website. I saw
fighting area on their deck. When my son & I almost purchased the
notebook, I woke up for the emptiness of wanting. God, dad, grant us
sooner to have new set of chromebook for our workspace. Bring me
sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan.
Grant us sanctum of love & privacy. Put self-esteem among people I
concerned. In the lunar new year eve, grant us securer ownership over
our adorable domains.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

tumbling night.

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime bravely to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even risky but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design.
last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead.
God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.

Monday, January 1, 2018

1st horn of 2018

first dreamt in school. the subject of experiment is to distill & starch from stem, for final bean curd or jelly separated from paper tissue. then found I was studying my Doctor degree course. my old family members mostly proud of me. I likely in vacation and visiting my old family's relatives at hometown, Zhudajiu village or local municipal, Wuxue. then found my purse missing. I was very concerned. then my 2 elder sisters help me search in fields for it. we exam carefully every inch of earth, hoping find it back. I was so distressed that I woke up for it and found at once I didn't miss it, but now I can't figure out how my property safe in reality while when I just exit from dream, I know concern in dream dissolved.

This is first day of 2018. after 3 hours I will bring my son to dine out in Qiqihar downtown via groupon and aid financially by alipay credit. the holiday approached so quietly that I didn't prepare. I barely borrow ¥150 for usual weekend reuniting my son from QRRS Dorm canteen. after found my mistake, I search web carefully using the virtual credit to buy service online to make ends meet. in half day I setup alipay, Meituan on my raspberry pi and ordered 3 meals in cyberspace. yesterday we dined dico's franchise. on bus I prayed God allowing our coupon working and our holiday won't run short of cash. when we got there, there were not crowd. our groupon handled perfectly. we enjoy the meal so much. in fact, my deficit of meat healed quickly. I told my son Warren Buffett advises that youth should refrain from debt, and how Taiwan people inspire me, including dico's service. I urged him we are blessed to visit the franchise more frequent for it's just in its wane due to PRC economic hard problem, and eroded customer base among both richer Chinese and average Chinese family, for expenditure power just wears away in sinking PRC. I felt lucky to be served by the fast food chain in time when it's still graceful, and sale girls still so decent. I also told my son how I satisfied by my charity activity to offer a laid-off motorcycle worker begging for his hard life alongside street, on way my visiting my son, with ¥5: how its cost efficient & my emotional sanctified. after luncheon, we hangout in RT-Mart for my shampoo & toothpaste. my son definitely refused buying goods for him. so we only spend about 60 CNY there, among heavy carts and long queue of people at checkout. dad God, this week I will arrange installment with alipay credit. promise us smooth operation, grant us to complete paying back credit in time in coming year 2018. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my lonely post mid age. grant us more offspring, esp Billing Zhu's role in anticipated capable of billing, harmony with the Holy. God dad, in this pale morning, You ignite me with this post, let 2018 burning brighter & enlightened.