cosy nap after sunburn jog, and rich dinner.

today a bit special: in half decade i first ate an elegant dinner for celebrating sudden nap in late afternoon. that's likely due to recent thick tasks to restore my son and my workspace, esp brunch framework based chromeOS on our nuc. this afternoon i even tried to re-enable my todo list management via google tasks and my web app at https://agarten.in. after enjoyed it so much in last 9 years then broke by PRC surveillance, now i know my work experience matters much than any others. i really like my workspace. holy spirit sees why i can live them alive again. my son's workspace recently wrecked by his harshness & inexperienced, I didn't expect to help him restored it, for God just let me visit him on my not real birthday, Sep 27, then i found him joined his school, however, the grandma open the door for me, and i worked there till dusk, reinstall windows, linux, android x86, etc. when my son returned from school, on dinner table, I babbled my job & he satisfied by my demonstration of new OSes. but still i less buzzed him recently, say, last night i muted all time, even i want to chat him. i saw his inconvenience not to lie to me if i insist to understand him closely. dear God, he needs free space to develop his vision, not responsible for me or anyone in the world. dear God, this dinner let me so full and complacent that I peacefully watched a movie online without call anyone amid chilly dorm room. dear God, if aging really your arrangement, why not I accept it? I felt the joy in peace of doze. grant me more freedom of body resilience, in long run, I have faith greater grace upon me, dad, I 'm bidding you, let my life more activities, esp my infant. thx, dad God, bring me sooner my partner of life. in this deep night, my singer for harmony is truely.

once again, the prayer of 1109 Empire China grateful ahead.

it's an exceptional brilliant day today. since morning sunshine, I felt holy affirmative. now after noon jog, I proud of my leisure & solitude. during my main meal of the day, the accountant of dorm administrative team, my recent sweetheart, tentatively shown her boy kid aside the lane, which distinguished my any aspire at once. in dorm, I relentlessly reviewed my situation, I messaged my office pals for my previous monitor's mobile, and buzzed him after got it. the man hated me after so many years' grudges. but soon after I just joined the company, QRRS, he treated me well, shared me his lunar new year family banquet where his baby daughter first kissed me. she maintains single so many years, in some occasions, I wondered might be there is sirenade between us, now it turned out trash. my son called back me next day after I cursed him, expressed regret, I peacefully told him my decision to set separation between our disputes: he may or may not visit me monthly as usual. next night I didn't buzz him routinely. next day my office dispatched food coupon for coming lunar mid-Autumn holiday, so I called him again, he seemingly more or less stunned, would rather muted me. in spare time, i saw his revenge against me, his refusal welcome me heartedly. now I saw only holy saves us, and our disagreements. in any sense, I more lonely now since the turbulent event with my poisoned son by his sinful mom, God, I still saw so many bliss upon me, dad, I enjoy my life so much even tumbling upon coming pitiful elderness. in past mornings, I dreamed but I unable to blog them, for putting up myself cost me half hour and vanished all transitional memories, lest to say dawn chill uncomfortably twists all kinds of feelings, esp pains. dear God dad, does it matters, now that the sunshines so vivid outside? let my faith sings and joys with music radio echoes forever higer. dad God, bring me sooner my new family, my new infant before age swallow my body. thanks, dear holy, forgive my son and my sin after all typos, here and there.

on barren land, homed the older lord.

dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and linux. but he refused again, recently he more frequently disrespects me, seemingly he enrolled by prodigy high school locally boost his pomposity, while my recent ailment, ie. painful fingers and wrest, disappointed him. his mom, a small sinister woman, now fetching him every dusk after schooling, a way to tighten her rein over the naive kid. I scorned him 3 times in the phone but he refused to retreat. this morning i cursed him again, trying layout his inevitable biding my prevailing earth power, but he yet forgave. on noon, i busy with updating my websites' ssl and the result let me relaxed and I buzzed him again, intending ease my anger but he hanged outside with his pal. his short mom cunning as usual refused my suggestion to fix her notebooks in a bundle of reuniting occasion during coming PRC national holiday even in fact she badly needs the fixation. that occurred during my daily jogging at noon, in the long solitude, I saw severe long halt between my intimacy with my son, war before my proving myself with new family and new son, a long promised i shared with my son. this last 2 years' absence, I tried to evade failing PRC's surveillance, the damned dorm room's chill and wet let my bone malfunctions, after 2 months painful fingers and swelling foot, now I almost see light of tunnel as holy guides. but I really don't know how to seek a new family now that I saw more and more aging on my body. I admit it's a core issue to my life and my self-esteem, and my son's wish.
dear God, now, here I'm. I treated myself fruits, oranges and bananas from nearby newly opened grocery. I marked today as spiritual and praying new stage ahead. God dad, bring me my new family sooner, and my new infant. reunite my son with me in glory.