dreamed alumus on her door.

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumni who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our school girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern country side scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm to breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine. my life more and more turned like an elder, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenges, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually had less than a bowl meat in a week there. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is to gathering my son, woz. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my wrecked shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when turned wet, now replace by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad.

woz enters 13th earth year.

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ￥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ￥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz's birthday cake a dearest one, ￥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓语. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 and a Chinese sound like "揉", both like kangaroo or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8am and loudly outside. I saw in this days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives and creativeness. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

woz with his 13th birthday cake.

dream of panther in hometown village.

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered into other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including with infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it fearful and enjoy ourselves each other. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shifted by someone from yard to dorm corridor sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ￥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population, largest wastes on earth. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own word and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

using of job

Introducation:

last weekend I left my son in gaming on his new flip chromebook earlier, partially evaded his messy mother's beg for aid to support my son's living. I recorded her loan ￥700/mon to support my son's living expenses, which mounts to near ￥20,000 so far, and told her I penniless each month with my bills and poor salary. my son last night likely upset by his mom's attitude and shown no respect of my query of his ongoing updating his wintel. he don't know his mom's failure and harm in her family education, as normal cheap Chinese.

KeyNote:

dreamt at my hometown in my summer campus vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizzahub. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop run by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary'a house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SWE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant appearance among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

overseas friendship forever memorized: Asus product from Amazon China.

Note:
the chromebook brings another equipment of linux into zhone workspace. never too overestimate to celebrate its fitting our need upon coming US and China trade war. its so smartly slim. I hope my son enjoy it as his new first gaming gear. God dad, how a larger surprise can be after turbulent customs deterrence and hostile PRC surveillance? God dad, its the largest gift we have now, in your mercy.
Main Content:
dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsource us to another bus. then we passed by a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with update windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. its quick smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't dissatisfy me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China.