dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding to nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside.
God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, on the land my ancestor bestowned. I saw my old friends and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.
Friday, March 23, 2018
Sunday, March 11, 2018
a invalid try to update my workspace.
Dreamt in class where my once junior middle school language teacher offering his lecture. While his speech too boring I cheated to cover my reading my own material. When he stepped down to check our listening, my heart beat heavier. But fortunately he didn’t found under my text book there was another book I hid my pleasure. I felt shameless the middle aged male teacher demands students so much to catch his lesson up while his teaching so boring and meaningless. This week half waiting my alumnus’ aid which never happened to buy my own another chromebox. I previously planned to equip my son a new convertible chromebook, but on Wednesday I was attracted by chromebox which cheaper and its ethernet interface card more powerful than a wireless card. I was inspired by the idea and pains brewing me in wanting upon which I knew on my own I can’t realize. So I resorted to my senior middle school alumni for fundraising 2000 CNY. One of them once the best scored and enrolled by most privileged PRC university, Beijing Univ, and visited my campus in Tianjin and slept my bed, to whom a year ago I entreated for aiding me to flying to visit my kid brother in southern China and got his ambiguous refusal. So this time I thought there was still cherished memories in our friendship, and his job likely earns much more than mine, for his major is international law or economics and worked in stock market after graduate. But this time, 1000 CNY as I expected solely, he again refused me and blacklist me without any word exchange, after my 4 sms and 3 buzzes sinked. I didn't bother contacting any other alumni after the denial. In the day after International Women Day, a snow continued after days break in my clueless reaching out. I still didn’t understand after looking into why someone put money before friendship and moral kindness. Is PRC economy turns harsher day by day for the once academic leader turned so mean? Or my enviable cyberspace harvest in a decade's blogging as well as holy missionary under God’s shine turns the wellbeing alumnus hatred and bitter to turn his back indecently to me? After the refusal I busy yesterday all day on my raspberry pi, preparing it more liable and useful. God sharpen my sight that my workspace already spacious and reliable, after all attempts constraining. In this dawn I felt hard to sleep, and bliss ahead so thick. So I got up before 6am to blog, for today would be a blessing exciting day with my son, woz, in our busy agenda learning and studying.
Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.
Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
dusk down lunar largest holiday.
dreamt my publishing career got happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success, my narrative style studied by scholar and critics. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settled up arch linux, which renew my experience of dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution release. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns a full functional pc from toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns more hard to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for better meals with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant me another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year. Thx dad God.
Thursday, March 1, 2018
snow covers.
dreamt doubting printing technology, how woodblock picture prints color accurately represent by oil. then through a magic hole, I entered a legendary world where I turned from tiny figure to a hero with sword to revenge. he refused help but judge by his own to murder his historical enemies. I was astonished by dangers and thrills in the master protagonist encountered in his brave world. Lunar 2018 first snow lasted 2 days. This morning when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast, its cover much heavier than yesterday. Quite some dorm administrative women outdoor cleaning road. Its so beautiful! And my breakfast is satisfying, esp sugar pie served first time after spring festival holiday. The day before yesterday, I worked continuously near 40 hours to rebuild portable workspace on my ssd and raspberry pi. After successfully got new oses ready and backups sound, I slept in chair when watching episode which lagging due to internet under PRC surveillance. In the night I slept sound, till next noon I got up directly to canteen for lunch. PRC tyrant attempted to rewrite rubber constitution to pave for his life time dictation, which arouse large scale debate among Chinese as well as world stage. Chinese people usually begging their living tiny space, not much social storm. But the communist tyrant wanted to humiliate Chinese now that the rubber constitution didn’t ban unconditional ruling power, as ghost communism put into fake republic leader. Chinese is a tribe that respects their interface. But their harmonious face torn by shameless power stealth tyrant now dominating the stage, who also challenges all PRC citizen with its death or wealth for last bet. Chinese in long brutal conflicts with nomad and historic lessons taught them not to expect government to good behaves but this time its fate again put in attest, God or Godless, Jesus or their folk pantheon. Review last decade’s poor western China gang’s public show on PRC lawless cheap square, I felt much sure that holy spirit leaves me prepared for monkey mimics carnival for superficial glory. Their social achievement and economic robbery turning PRC a hell of prey and nightmare of smash of minimal, failing most sinful Chinese indifferent of their outer space but their tiny live sphere, bloodless hatch and hopeless survivor.
God, dad, its a sunny morning now. Yesterday I talked with my son online for arrangement of last dining out celebrating the end of spring festival. Bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for the rest of my earth life. Bring me with my son new study of arch linux and new ultra convertible chromebook. Grant us a smooth year for steady growth, and larger web of world democracy of sustainable.
God, dad, its a sunny morning now. Yesterday I talked with my son online for arrangement of last dining out celebrating the end of spring festival. Bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for the rest of my earth life. Bring me with my son new study of arch linux and new ultra convertible chromebook. Grant us a smooth year for steady growth, and larger web of world democracy of sustainable.
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
in cloud of commons.
First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been
a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son
following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept
in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then
dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we
passed a relatives' village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in
English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so
far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day.
Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I
felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me,
so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant
and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet,
where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS
will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement
online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me
dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call.
When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to
feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me
once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar
holiday I didn't feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and
joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially
stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control
debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn't
bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and
what's on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don't
move me much. I more confident in God's bliss, which more making sense
in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving
left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food
and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In
this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and
cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my
Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from
Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.
a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son
following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept
in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then
dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we
passed a relatives' village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in
English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so
far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day.
Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I
felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me,
so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant
and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet,
where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS
will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement
online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me
dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call.
When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to
feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me
once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar
holiday I didn't feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and
joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially
stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control
debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn't
bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and
what's on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don't
move me much. I more confident in God's bliss, which more making sense
in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving
left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food
and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In
this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and
cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my
Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from
Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.
Thursday, February 15, 2018
moulding reality with domains.
yesterday I ate 4 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent from southern China, his small mill. they are quite tasty. when I went jogging routinely, I obviously felt dragging belly, and heart pumping heavier. dad, God, in my life I missed delicacy so much, even larger amount of beautiful girl souls, but I was remained slim and healthier appetite so far. God, guide me toward my new family, where my 2nd child can glorifies my earth life. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for joy matters much. grant us sooner approach the anxious free peak where our domains consolidate like the world map, well recognized and vivid as atmosphere.
Saturday, February 10, 2018
among homeless loneliness.
dreamt in my hometown preparing to return university, or just enrolled by university. my elder brother and my mom prepared me package and anxious about train ticket. I had seven or eight files need to unpack, to answer a quiz, in which explains a Chinese word, all family happy 阖家欢乐. I myself relentless, doubting first settle 2nd or the first tour, for the destiny needs 2 transference. today likely first day of lunar spring festival and my fasting day: dorm canteen in vacation now, likely till 2 weeks or 3 to resume. my younger brother sent 4 parcels of ready food which quite relieves my anxious budget for the holiday. last night the dorm canteen also treated me with a more delicious dinner, includes pork and squid. there were lots of hopelessly stupid Chinese aside road burning fake money for their passed relatives on way my jogging. I had to cover my eyes with sleeves still got dirt in eyes. these week busy with overcoming obstacle harsher PRC surveillance imposed. I also prepare my son woz new open wifi for his coming party with his cousins from his mom's relatives visiting the lunar holiday. PRC dog system closely watched it: when I print a board of wifi confidential in a local small print house, soon 2 men join the shop till my left. when I deleted my backup image online of the board, my internet shut down at once for more than 6 hours, till now my usual vpn had problem to connect. review the stupid holiday I feel more convinced that's a absurd event of Chinese culture: its boost blind celebration, hatred against neighbor and social harmony. human fed by God's mercy, rather than foolish harvest which lunar spring festival signalizes. spring festival at its best encourages laziness and paralyzing of society, running norm of civilization, fear of scattered corporation. in the week I also received poverty aid from QRRS, my once and long time employer, 300 CNY in cash and 500 into debit card. it helps me relieve debt burden to dorm canteen, alipay credit including installment. now my only curiosity is my younger brother's promised gift to renew our 2 dearer domains. if I can deposit 100 CNY in my ABC and Bankcomm debit account for remaining their alive, I will regretless starting lunar new year. recent night I also research alternative chromebook, now that my acer chromebook will reach its end of life in google support term. I want to equip woz a ultra convertible chromebook, with google play embedded. then I can convert my retired one into a linux notebook. the plan is faultless, hopefully after my installment with alipay credit finished and ready for new one. God, dad, feed me in the enduring lunar holiday as homeless. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko for real celebration season. grant us 2 rich meals in holiday when I fetch my son to dine out. help me reach end of spring festival sooner, risk free. thx, dad God.
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