its a happy weekends whose joys can't add more. Saturday i launched to restore infected os from backup on acer notebook baby's mom now using. when baby watching animation, i finished all backup for stuff from web. baby didn't urge me to play pc games, how i obliged to him. when i rest in QRRS Dorms, i felt exhausted&slept before 8pm. in Sunday as we scheduled, we picked games we made progress, found so many merry, succeeded new missions in all games we reviewed, including hard mission once blocked us. baby also invited me to sport indoor for quite occasions. near 5pm, he dozed on my shoulders when i gossiped about pc games. his mom shift him to bed, i cared him there, massage his head till he slept sound. i kissed him then returned to QRRS dorm. God let me know i don't need the local church to gather with God, my dad. so i roamed longer time in snow around the dorm&aloof out of the church.
on last Friday, just near work time over, after the sinful monitor closed door&profaned a long time, i had a break for refreshment&gossip in the neighbor room where there r 4 female staff about my site online. the talk&viewpoint in the conversation startled China surveillance, which likely spied most work space in the office building, shown agitations when i returned to my office. in the dusk jog, 2 male cops shown around me, one mentally attack me&caused my attention. in the weekends, more cops appeared on way i routed to see baby son.
the weekends dawns i also dreamed a lot. on Sunday morning i dreamed my hometown setup many minor ethnic restaurants, offer variable feature foods. i also dreamed of places likely underworld in Saturday morning, for my mother at hometown likely put into earth these days. my brothers at hometown so far didn't informed me the left life, except my 2nd elder sister buzzed my baby's mom, a nephew also sms her, both after a day&more time after the moment my mother left the world. their plot of depriving me as heir off my parents just a laugh in Heaven. i still waiting when i got known who banned me from been informed of mother's funeral.
Ok, its a bright morning now, after many days of pale, cloudy or snowy. sins in office still risk their dirty lives to challenge. God, i don't bother here to re-assert their broken bone in the soon end feeds wild baseless dogs. that's ultimate true.
God, now its my prayer: God, bring my girls sooner to me. bring my new family to curb&sustain the warmth of life, ever-green life we share. God, promise baby son forever light heart&beam of sunshine, beam of laugh. God, u save.
3/12/2010
a day in mourning without regret.^yesterday again saw brutal attacks. the sins in office challenged a lot, the dying monitor again kicked/smashed the door to show blood-thirsty. in the morning baby's mom buzzed me, for my elder sister informed her my mother in hometown, central China, left the world. my first response is why she didn't inform me directly, for she knew we lived apart. all the day i didn't call hometown relatives. before work time over, i met the daughter&second son of my second elder brother's online, got know my mother died on Dec 1, 2010, in the morning. even i long time decided&let my mother known i wouldn't join her funeral, but the second brother promised me month ago that if mother's health worsen he will buzz me. it turns clearer that the folks in hometown conspired to deprive my heir under my parents. in the night i in usual peace&light heart. woke up near 6:12am, &join canteen for breakfast. now i see redden sunrise in sky over horizon. God, bring me my girl zhou. bring me my 2nd son with my Japanese Crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my Taiwan girl, who will give birth of my 3rd son. give my girl zhou a twin of ours in coming marriage. God, dad, bring peace&hope on ur land in central China, among ur old family that scatters.
2/12/2010
day for coming Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan.^yesterday under attacks from sins in office. since the morning the monitor stayed&profaned, till defeated by an online lecture on bible i watched, left abrupt. i enjoyed the peace gladly around noon. about an hour before the work time over, they returned, including the facing sin in his vacation, brought their pal who likely a gangster. they challenged me heavily while i watched games' trailer online, left after tasted its failure&head for dinner together, likely for conspire of murder. i left office near 6pm, after see light from web i endear. the canteen owner shown their despise, lets me swallow a large dish of rice with an egg, with some pickles for prepared dishes sold out, &new dishes cooked for package to send out. in night i buzzed once near 8:30pm, baby picked phone then shift to his mom. so many hostile in QRRS ignited me, but God, baby son's voice let me satisfied&hopeful. It snowed last night, in breakfast a boy student sat in front of me&talked with his girl classmates frequented the canteen, i know God doesn't bless them. browser's ssl broke yesterday, forced me apart from my google account, instead I refined my profile at chinaren.com, a sold site built by overseas Chinese student graduated from US. now the falsed ssl likely resumed to normal after i clear its history, thx God. Today is day for my second wife, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, my dearest, if u hearing, pl join me&let us together bring birth of my second son, our first son ahead our other 2 sons, in God's shine. Today is ur day in our history, dearest, join me to root&boot up our Royal&future of Asia. dearest, show me ur presence in my life, so as to allow me cling to u. i beg u, i entreat u, my liver, my kidney.
1/12/2010
a fine day.^yesterday is fine when i left office in dusk, as God nods me. i read&gained from web. secured myspace account, linked it with my facebook. sorted portable suite at last. the dying monitor all time trying to profane, so did the dying neighbors&once colleagues lingering&trying seige me in the building. in night buzzed baby, when his mom felt at a loss&warn not to receive my call any more, baby talked to me&ordered not to call in. its so charming to hear his naive voice. around 8:34pm, i buzzed him again for assurance, they shown me their hospitality as usual. i again woke up earlier than 6am this morning, in the sweet memory of love. its a chill morning, but God, u know, bliss in air is thick. thx for ur protection when i secured my work environment yesterday, dad.
30/11/2010
pale morning, new snow gathering.^yesterday posted a blog entry to include recent tweets&photos, at http://riveryog.blog.163.com/blog/static/122437369201010291014089/ .posting comparably smooth. left office soon after work time over. the demon, the monitor, all day challenged, stayed in office, left exactly when i prepared to leave. God promises me the sinful sank in death&brutality. in night after dinner, i rested on bed&envisioned baby's mom, emakingir's painful losing in her fate. buzzed twice baby, but he didn't talk to me. slept earlier than 9pm. in dawn woke up by sweet memory of my Taiwan girl, &love power lingered in my body till breakfast time. God, save my work online&offline. bring me my new family&refresh baby's experience of living on the earth.
benzrad's recent photo blog:
Qiqihar railway station through view of its police station's open space. 
a Japanese invader's villa now occupied by CCP local high rank, among dense residentail area. 
