dream of flying.

So I napped again after a sandstorm noon. I dreamt using water as fuel
and a pair of light wings. I flied over a slop and carefully
calculated fuel consuming. on the hill of my hometown, I finally ran
out of water fuel and woke up. in the past week banks called me
several times but now less burning. I hope my business outruns the
ever accumulating profit in addition principal in a decade. this week
financial hardness embarrassed me so miserable that sometimes humbled
me to bite, esp occasionally an old cop near retired age ate his rich
lunch in dorm canteen with his pal in canteen. after restored hope of
life, my dinners in canteen even delicious since then, from complain
of loan from its operating woman. this week my restoring dynamic sites
also makes proud progress. backup partially imported to new database,
and fresh web apps targeting new domains tried and satisfying. our new
site gathers thin traffic but God, plenty of holy world, let me feel
capable of the online presence now and then. my own especially glad to
see these beautiful huts of interactive, of hospitality, of service,
regardless sunshine nor turbulence. they will be history and morality,
will be testimony of holy commitment. previously I tried hard to build
them on google infrastructure, but now financial situation hardly
support it, and compatibility with php less satisfying. now I found
cheaper hosting at godaddy. and free hosting at byet.host. God, dad,
let the freedom of cyberspace persistent, let the internet affordable
forever. above all of them, I gladful upon hardware upgrade last year
I pushed recklessly. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to foster
good world closing the sinking PRC, bring me sooner my children, my
girls with whom I prayed so long online. in coming salary pl allow me
to alleviate more or less my credit overdraw burden. grant us purchase
power among my dear credit cards. thx, dad, in this chill afternoon.
Photo Description: woz, Hope of China, has painting lesson arranged by
his mom. here his talent artwork in early stage.

rarely dreamt of youth partner.

dreamt first time of youth friend, Qiuxiaolin. yesterday I napped
several times but still today felt exhausted. after canteen breakfast
I satisfied and napped. I dreamt Qiu xiaolin, my Nankai alumnus and
close friend of literature, visited me in my hometown. some neighbor
kids, Zhudahua, Zhuhongying, etc, played our pingpang ball. sometimes
they asked my judge for who can play. I told them there r several
balls and enough. Qiu must discussed our favorite literature and also
relaxed with kids and fun. I had 2 friends in campus. one is Qiu,
another is BianbaQingda, Tibetan artist I never contacted soon after I
stepped into my empirical career in QRRS. that's nearly 20 years. Qiu
is now likely a professor in his hometown, southwestern China,
Bianba's paintings getting public and must also return to his
hometown, Lasha. and that's all I knew. they have my best wishes.
yesterday is lunar mourning day, dorm canteen out of service again. I
ate KFC breakfast and a cheap but consolidate lunch. the additional
cost made my reserve for reunite son in weekends in April turns even
poorer. God dad, grant me freedom of living dignity. empower me rent
hosting service online for my business on the earth in holy
affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China to enlighten the eastern
sky. thx for peaceful moment of nap and crisp air after last dusk
drizzle.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love

my university pals visited me in dream.

dreamt of my Nankai schoolmates visited my house in their study. last
Saturday I worked overnight to install ubuntu for my son's computer
which frequently hacked by China surveillance. so this morning I
napped. in dream when I returned to my house likely also my ex-wife's,
to my surprise, all my Nankai alumni there resting, playing card,
chatting, etc as tourist, just like when we studied in campus. they
likely in their 2nd field practice except without me who is old and
trying hard to make a living. I saw Chenxinjian, Chengfeng I recently
contacted for help, also saw Muyunhe, Wangyanping, alumna whose
comment is sharp, saying I getting old. they all settled in my house
at home. this month my salary in serial was around ¥2000 while my
living cost for my son and my own is the number and additionally bank
charges ¥1000 for my credit overdrawal. in frequent banks calls, I
felt more or less burnout. I contacted some of my senior middle school
alumni for help. most of them evade me, but a promising guy, our
always number one academic score holder, acquainted my hardness. last
Sunday reunite woz, my dearest son, Hope of China, is quite warm
memory now. we dined rich, played games heartedly, chatted on profound
far sighted topics. upon my shortage I offered him 2 options, less
visit or dined cheaper, he chose the later, which made me prouder. its
sunny spring now, fine weather these 2 days encouraged me putting on
my best clothes. for God's mercy, my nephew, elder son of my dearest
youngest elder sister, who operates an online clothes shop, prepared
me some alternatives. God, dad, my life so far is enjoyable. pl don't
deprive our leisure and pleasure in the moulding of our Empire of
China of 1109 years ahead. only living happy deserves our vested
kingdom. pl help me step by step relieve my burden of bank loan, and
grant us of purchasing power continuous. thx dad, bring me sooner my
girls when we matter each other. enliven me by new children I breed.
thx for this silent morning after KFC breakfast.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love

goods' goodness.

dreamt of international cargo. in dawn dream, I prepared my packages
to Sweden where I will study. on half way I found my packages missing.
then found I mispelled and hijacked by malware. on half way where
there is crowd watching soccer world champion, I miserable search all
hijacked packages' label and corrected them with my designated destiny
while maintained hijacked address untouched but move it to lower
propriety and wouldn't executed for trial and test. then in remote
country I possibly waiting for the only missing package uncorrected,
and doubting if its a serial compression in which missing a member
package will ruin all others, or all independent compressed packages
in which missing one will only affect itself content. the dream likely
an echo of what I saw last night I returned from visiting my son. on
the bus stop I noticed railway station setup its cargo handling office
where previously rented to 3rd party business likely small hotel, etc.
its likely now has their business booming and office restored. I saw 2
young couples leaving from the office and likely they fetched their
cargo. I enjoyed online shopping last year so much. now the PRC
government installed higher tariff trying smoother overseas purchases
booming among Chinese middle class. its a whole pack aiming prevent
Chinese better informed shifting from poor Chinese quality to world
including political, life, society, ethic all aspects. dictative PRC
attempting stop losing customers inland by monopolize their poor
official offers like north Korea where people lame generations and
generations of prey. how I cherish overseas purchases last year and
cozy of online shoppings which now almost impossible under my current
hard financial situation. God dad, PRC sinking dictation want harness
domestic consuming boost economy and employment while never afford
losing control on monopoly of supply, the most important role in
industrialized production chain, and through which American people and
world economy help China in past decades so much to allow diligent
Chinese labors engaged full fledged and improved their lives nonstop
in more than 40 years. the ccp is a bitch, grace never sheds light in
its stoned heart, and relentlessly sinking China with it when times
ditching them with their poor quality and means of troublemaking. dad
God, bring me sooner my Royal China and my beloved children, my queens
for peace and pleasure of now. please ease my credit deficit and allow
me shopping online as usual. in the coming salary allow me make use to
alleviate my debt burden more or less.

a year's plan in the summer time.

20/5/2014

an in time rain again. ^ last dusk I was chased by dogs. dirty old woman tried to defame me. in the night I should enjoy American TV dramas, but recent PRC banned lots of culture products overseas, claiming they against PRC's moral system. but I still find fun alone and idle. the rain didn't start when I went to bed, but in dawn its rhythm brought me dreams and peace. I dreamt as an intern in CCTV, PRC's assigned authoritative and dominative media. I interviewed by high rank cadre of the media tyrant & fear of clumsy. I indeed in dream of poor qualified, in fact felt miserably uncompetitive.then I did field survey of society, in minority area.a kid &his elder sister talk with us in their mountain village. they are funcy and cute. dad, God, so many burdens and hostility around my Royal China, so many protection U put us and stand us upright, God, I don't deserve a complaint for bareness nor dependence. the battle last long while I prone to homesick. God, dad, coming years more depressing in the economy as well as social and politics. God, guide me and my beloved through the warren and safe onto my promised land. God, dad, in this raining morning, with my girl Lyu's attending, I felt steady and inspired.

12/5/2014

a blessing rain from my girl Lyu.^ this week felt extreme lucky. I got my own 5 letters domain, zhone.mobi, for my long time used namespace for my family, an alias of oneizh for whose logo I designed years ago. during hard time of PRC's sliding low economy, I cling to concrete asset like the domain, with which I gathered courage to buy 5 years at once. my debt this month amounts to near ￥2000, but I felt easier since last sunny day and moisture days follow. this week also especially long for PRC public calendar shift labor day vacation and made the workweek 6 days. My son hesitated to me when we reunited. later he explained last week I blamed he didn't try new video games hurt him. we soon enjoyed together again, with lots of game playing. I treated him Dico's lunch after more than a month's break for hard economy. the weekend can't be more splendid. this dawn I dreamt first helping my 2nd elder bro rip ghost from his son or grand son.then dream on a train, usually most jamming and noise and dirty travel method, we occupied a small space,say kitchen, and cozy.after a meeting, one Guy, Xiu haitao, a big build Guy among my Qrrs colleagues once loaned me to pursue master degree in Nankai Univ back to 1999, gave up and left the kitchen with his baggage. when I got up to pee, I felt afraid of ghosts. I soon boot up for breakfast in canteen. the rain too beautiful to miss. God, bring me sooner my Royal China. help me stroll over the hard time in sinking PRC and its tyrant party. fetch back our leisure life style with dicos meal, and online shopping once a week or monthly. thx dad, God. secure my cyberspace assets and ease my concern of their security.

3/5/2014

dreamt exile. ^ First dreamt escape with General Chiang Kai-shek's army. Then dreamed with a German family. They live in the only tiny forest in Germany. their son tried to make friends during exile, make use of drug to feel better. his aunt, a girl, brings his parents to rescue him, forced his physical exercise in their yard. I liked the aunt in dream. after I scrabbled some of the dream and continued to sleep, I probed advantage of German. I played with the family, esp the father. Its a funny international labor day. my son expected it heartedly, for it includes movie "Captain America 2" in 3D cinema, steak lunch, visiting my dorm, and luxurious breakfast next morning in U.B.C coffee. it turned out really memorable. during the vacation I also claimed family 13th domain, riveryog.biz. its the only 8 letters domain we have. the .biz also enchants me so long. its all nice except hard finance weighted me lots. my eldest brother promised loan me ￥1000 while several days passed the tranaction didn't happen. I actually worried about draining out situation in my business. I hope I can break down barrier of debt, but it more and more shakes my confidence. God, I saw ur affirmative and uphold to it. God, dad, just let my work and life rolling like usual, smooth like deep river. God, I have lots to hope, but most in hurry is my Royal China. bring me sooner my girls, my Queens into my new family, and our children beautiful and gifted under new realm of my Empire of China, spans 1109 years follows.

24/4/2014

dreamed of being a graduate and in love with a girl Lyu. ^ in dawn dream I just after national graduate exam, and enrolled by Jilin University, an ivy league campus. my crushed girl Lyu also will study there the same year and only us 2 enrolled by the Univ. the term. my major is Cg, computer graphics and post effect, with parents, which odd in both eyes of girl Lyu and mine. my 2nd elder bro accompanied me to report in open season. he hurried me to sleep same bed in dorm with him but I felt queer & rejected. a little girl slept on a bed near me talking me while her grandma ordered her leaving. they beat each other. I tried to save the crying girl,then wake up. Girl Lyu loves me too.her major now forgot. when I met her among our classmates, I felt so sweet and so is she. in the end of dream, we got to know the campus is not in down town but quite rural. God, this month salary arrived lately, 200 more than March's. thx for the gift. we still in debt of ￥1000 and more. I hope I can fix it with my salary in coming seasons as summer can be busier season and brings more products ordered for the SOE, QRRS, my once and long time employer. celebrating the salary quite impressive. I bought my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, toast duck as planned, we enjoyed it so much. next day I bought him persimmons after knew he missing it. handing in subscription for boarding and fruits went also quite smooth. sometimes only experienced hard time before you know normal life and its costs so important to be sustained. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my Queens, Asoh Yukiko, girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW. thx for this blessing morning enacted me before 6am. thx for life comes so peaceful.

10/3/2014

From 2014 admires

From 2014 admires

From 2014 admires

From 2014 admires

Sunday ahead.

20/3/2013

dream of my passed dad and his dying elder brother. ^ my uncle died 3 days after my grand dad passed by on Dec 18, 2006. the dark soul endured to see my dad to leave, likely in bitter war in his heart envious. he suffered unhappy marriage almost all his life. in the dawn dream my lifetime kind Father sat on left, facing me, talked to me smiling. his brother sat on the right, we likely around a fire for warmth. my sinful 2nd elder brother on my right side to prepare death of the uncle. Dad, God, I knew doubtless who is the loser before this dream. Dad, glory untouchable over u, testifies this dream and this sunny morning. 

19/3/2013

dreamed of romance in doze.^ in noon doze I covered my head with coat and dreamed lovely girl. an sweet lady editor came over to find why I, or my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, entertained so much in digital world, by style in non-mainstream, and she found it and shifted to support us. It sunny since morning, but started to snow near lunch time. now it turns wonderfully sunny again. God, bring me sooner my girls u promised me, and my son in his future that incomparable weighted. God, my dream comes true, dad, world u makes cater to us, by value the Son valving, from undercover. 

18/3/2013

dream of secret association of my hometown. ^ in dawn dream, I in dash to get train ticket for lunar spring festival hometown tour while in sinking PRC train can be constantly scarce in the season. the Hubei, my hometown province, has secret geo-community around and I got contact with it. they lived in underground in deserted wasteland. they arranged me get the train even with their own car, among my anxiousness. then I closely watched their operation, their brain. also another young lady serves him. they made projects and had original ideas, say put their nest hanging on power line.
the past week I worked hard. less movement left my stomach inflated enough to hurt other parts in my body and let me uncomfortable. I finally decided to take over feazrland.co from my kid brother who paid the first 2 year's registry fee, after found he posed protectively upon my helping hand. he refused talk to me after I urged him to decide if adopt zoho enterprise suite associated with the domain. his dog behavior, threaten me by tighten mouth, refute by ignore, hurts me, so I exile him from the domain I concocted when I was in Holy Spirit adventure, in the asylum. now, I'd so glad I had a domain for my own first domain name, faezrland, with my son has another but direct, faezrland.me . God, dad, let's steer our Noah's ark out of bay now. God, bring me sooner my Royal China, to home my son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, and to family my girls in praying for me so long. 

11/3/2013

dreamed of my kid brother & warrenzh, my son.^ yesterday is a busy while wonderful day. my son, warrenzh, made progress in video games with me, who prepared the reunion for days when he stayed in QRRS Dorms. my son invited me to watch 3-D movie with which he watched previously with his mom. we planed carefully and it turned out a great success. we ate toast buffet in Golden Hans, then we went to the cinema by taxi. we didn't wait too long before the movie running. even the outdated shabby chairs hurting, the movie is nice. half way I shift my son onto my laptops to save his bottom from the stiff chair. also luckily we took a taxi among over-crowd before chilled down outside after the movie, when a heavy snow on Saturday still heaped thick. this dawn I dreamed my kid brother, who hurt by my knowledge on Internet & tighten his mouth for resentment, visited me here. I encouraged him being more open, confident and he made improvement relaxed. after peed I dreamed I with my son visiting a display, cinema or museum, happily. the time I hanging in the dream with my son is long but the vivid evaded me as soon as I woke up & prepared to blog. God, bring sooner my Royal China so as to allow me home my son, who growing & need my greater responsibility. God, bring me sooner my Crowded Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my girl Taiwan, who once so close me. God, dad, thx for the rich weekends. 

7/3/2013

dreamed of genius & password crisis. ^these days heat dropping indoor in QRRS Dorms, where benzrad 朱子卓 lingered for his new family. I had to cover my coat over quilt in night. these days also draining, for my kid brother in southern China exert terrorism upon my advantage technical and expressive, by ignore ruthless my query and helping hand. this morning I dreamed the sinful monitor in office tempted me to leave my usb stick his drawer. but I found my err first &protected my confidential due before he notice. then dreamed genius kid, say my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲. likely echoes of an American episode, "touch", which so convincing, I watched recently. this is a sunny early spring morning, I got my breakfast in dorm canteen, which so nice. God, cease fire between my kid brother and me. bring firm my Royal China to home my son and offspring arriving. God, dad, thx for time I enjoyed and seeking more funs. 

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉

means to sustain.

5/3/2013

falling bitch. ^ last night visit my son. his mother cursed me &threaten banning me reuniting son in her house. the night we didn't play video games as usual. I just waited while his trifle mom accompany him doing homeworks. when roaming alone in waiting room, I felt so lucky to dump her, the cheap messy bitch. I pray God shows me my choice so righteous, praying my son witness the end of evil in the woman. later his mom allow him watching animation online, he pushed me out of his screen as usual. but I notice many half naked woman in the Japanese animation, so I warned my son's danger of porn. on way leaving the house, God assured me intact of my son's sanity among the bitch woman's dirty environment. this dawn I slept deep, dreamed a lot about my campus life in Nankai Univ. on way back from check-in QRRS card reading system, I still felt the shame and dirty being cursed by the bitch, my son's mom, who nowadays more and more frequently called me freak. God, dirty in her mouth has to be swallowed by the spiller. save my happy time with my son in our weekly reunion. God, bring sooner my Royal China to allow me housing my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe. God, dad, thx for the peace after shames of being cursed by falling demon. 

2/3/2013

family got 7th domain, faezrland.me. ^ family got 7th domain, faezrland.me. ^ God don't let us anxious about things definite. after help my kid brother get his new domain, faezrland.co, I felt its time to claim my family a domain for my father, who bring out the domain spiritually, faezrland, back when I was trapped in asylum while my kid brother visiting us from southern China he hard earned for several years, in my adversity to battle evils against my son &my vested glory on the earth. the reason I so late to claim faezrland for my grand dad, God in Heaven now, is that I had urgent domains to serve, like what we had, be21zh.org for our 1109 years' Empire of China rebirth, zhuson.com for US and China under God's shine, benzrad.us for myself, warozhu.com/wozon.net/woz.fm for my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, in his title explicit gracious. at that time I felt faezrland is a far dream for my dad in Heaven. but in the process of register faezrland.co for my kid brother, I felt the urgency to claim my own faezrland, for due protection, for the holy presence. the next days I tried to contact people in my social circle for fund. refuted twice, the 3rd one I reached out, my senior middle school and also my Nankai Univ alumnus, offer hand within seconds' exchange of words. God, I saw the sunshine since the day U promised me. God, help us grasp firmly our web property. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring my offspring prosperous! 

26/2/12013

dreamed wounded by iron wire. ^ this days very busy with setup my kid brother's new domain, faezrland.co. I felt its a great triumph to explore great product like zoho standard suite for enterprise. yesterday afternoon I visit my son with elation. he was proud of his progress in video games &gabbled a lot. this morning I felt sleepy for check-in QRRS, my once and long time employer. in doze I dreamed my foot hurt by iron wire. after checked carefully, I pull out the uneven wires in flesh and pains gone. God, my time is ripe for Royal China. bring my girls, esp. Asoh Yukiko, my Crowed Queen from Japan, my Taiwan girl who once so near to me, into my life in praying sooner. God, grant me a new domain for my passed grand dad, God in Heaven now, and my vested land promising. thx God. 

19/2/12013

Chinese mafia gathering beyond me. ^ yesterday visited my son as usual &made proud progress in video game "borderlands 2". told my son I more and more upset by Chinese, esp. insane PRC. for recently I saw local mafia shown more recklessly to prey. one of my Nankai Univ alumnus also invited to meet me when his train journey porting Qiqihar. he lived hell &trying influencing my life's choice with humiliation. I more and more felt the ruling party, like its tyranny, was in flame and gaining speed spinning around, begging Chinese society in PRC help putting off its burning fur, as well as fat under skin after eras of indulged power, robbery &whoredom . It doomed to die in fire baptism, and new China Empire under my title emerging as freedom of Chinese under God's shine. this dawn dreamed of my kid brother in southern China, who operating a small business & recently helped me twice, paid a year registration of my son's 3rd domain, woz.fm, paid my order to replace my 2 wrecked shoes online. I dreamed the sinful cousin, eldest son of my dad's eldest brother, a fell bureaucracy preyed his patriots, like most cases in Chinese history the way northwestern dominator did upon whole China, and my parents and his villagers suffered. when I was busy with fixing my gears, my mother came and told me my kid brother dying after suffering. I let her shut up, for I don't believe. God, this is my prayer today, rid my kid brother zombie hanging around him, stop sinful blood thieves, due to my brother's weak will to live up, on him. God, dad, u see our fate of family, lighten up our road toward ever grace. God, bring me sooner my Royal China, glorifies my son's life with honey and pleasure. God, peace in my praying in this morning sunshine! 

14/2/12013

dreamed of designing active books. ^ in dawn dream I started a small business. then transfered into printing industry. my kid brother or I wrote 3 very original books. I designed interactive form to display it. one is display on different parts of a panel. another is feeding with string, like tape recorder. I almost succeeded on it before woke up. yesterday a bit busy till near 7 pm. I guessed my son should return from his mom's hometown tour. so I buzzed, my son gave me a healthy welcome on air. I visited him with his dell notebook I fetched before his tour against thief. he played a turn of video game, "dungeonland". returned to dorm, I watched a sci-fiction episode about kids with super-power. the evil neighbor hit the thin wall again. I felt the chill &went to bed after 11 pm. God, Its so nice normal life resumes ahead, and so gracious morning light outside now. bring me my Royal China sooner to allow my honeymoon with my girls in time. God, grant us saintly life and family along life time. 

11/2/2013

dreamed of my parents &academy. ^ in dawn dream my parents appeared. I too liked to lingering at home and forgot when the winter vacation ends. so I buzzed Nankai Univ. and informed I should return to campus no later than Feb 6. but the date was Feb 6 or later. so I asked my parents, esp. my dad, help me find excuses. my parents granted. nightmare of academy rewinds. 
my son told me he losing fancy upon video games. God, I hope the day he leaving me alone to video game later. God, I can't afford him more pleasure currently. God, show us the clear and bright road to achievement, glory, and peace. now his mom will soon bring him on board to visit her relatives in other city. God, bring him a shiny way to enjoy life on the earth. 

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉