dwell with hardness on my nation.

dreamt of summit. yesterday is exhausting for me after reunited with
my son, woz, my most concerned. I told him my new source of
confidence, new strategy to cope with current hard finance. I brought
him dine out with Islamic noodle cuisine with which I again groupon
and paid by my credit digitally, our favorite mean of dining out but
forgiven this year for credit crisis and slump economy. my son less
surprised but maintained acknowledged. I also tried to prepare his
smart TV with more functions the android os powered. in dorm in the
dawn I dreamt assigned to write speech for boss who will lecture on
the summit. I managed separate headline and body of the speech, embed
my family domains' site each part, for more appearance of zhone
cyberspace existence. when the summit gathered, the keynote didn't
take place, I only saw the labor union chairman of QRRS, a guy almost
same period enrolled by the SOE and more or less acquaintance. I
watched far from the hot circle of audience among the party and some
QRRS staff playful with me nearby. we gradually retreated and I woke
up lately. I don't know why I felt so sleepy, but I now have more time
to sleep while my whole business stable and in early stage which means
more patience. I likely wouldn't find myself another job to make a
living, for I resolved to sit and dwelt with hardest situation in
sinking PRC, my vested kingdom. I needn't another option to flee from
my people, my land which so fertile and sustaining. I have vocation
and proud of it, which is not weak one nor demands protection from
peer stable source of feed. I don't need a second occupation for
sacrifice for my main concern, my kingdom and cyberspace startup.
that's my rebirth of confidence from void in wane of hardness these
weeks. God, dad, save my nation from broken, save us from starving and
scatter of exile. grant me regal life with my son, my girls I
entreated so far online. bring me life style we enjoy so far, remove
my debt burden step by step when beholding my enterprise online. dad,
God, help me live healthy and resilient in my mid-age.

dream of revolution.

dreamt first about resort in farming field to treat insomnia. my once
colleague in QRRS, Chi, a shameless bureaucracy career chaser, also in
the farm resort and likely surveillance me. then dream being a
rebellion, with his 2 comrades, one titled cloud blade, 云锋 in Chinese,
one titled period blade, 节锋 in chinese. the latter likely betrayed to
and murdered by our enemies. I with cloud blade probing the missing of
our comrade, among risky mob of rebellions and counter rebellions. its
a pale morning since last drizzling night. I missed 2 breakfasts and
kept awake earlier not to miss it again. yesterday PSBC local branch
buzzed again that its his last call before possible seizure of my
salary card if I unable return credit deficit in time in last chance.
if so, I would have to make a living alone beside salary offered by my
once and long time employer, QRRS, an old style SOE, whose poor salary
forces me to loan and miserable. I yet configured the ethic aspect of
my financial status, but likely change occurs now, for surviving
myself and my son. finding a job always daunting challenge for me,
used to be casual and common. lower salary or lower skill intensified,
that's likely a balance I will strike. God, its not easy for a man in
his near 50s to be relocated. grant us life we enjoy so far. grant us
balance between personal achievement and social contribution. dad,
God, bring me sooner my Royal China to boast sinking PRC. bring me
affordable entrepreneur for better life and time management.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #love #life

fantasy in western Chinese woman.

dreamt of Islamic woman and fantastic scene. yesterday dinned in a
Islamic restaurant we haunted a lot and where I especially amazed by
the hostess by her exotic beauty. in dawn dream I with the woman on a
giant dam control unit and watching huge flow. I then on guestbook
chose a heroic name as my name. then in a comic movies scene I chatted
with female partner and experienced adventure. I again chose a
historic name as my signature. I tried to blog but its too cold to
open my pc right the moment after woke up. I napped again and in dream
I wording details for blog in dawn time. when I actually started to
blog on my chromebook half put on, most memories gone. last week busy
with reinstall os on woz's 2 pcs which lagging and likely infected.
lots of data, esp. online games, await to restore before we enjoy the
fruit of a cleaner system. one of my credit card issuer, ICBC, warned
of possible lock down my salary card before I fully return its credit
due. I reported danger of the scenario to my hometown relatives, ie.
my elder brothers. they likely mobilized to try to help, but so far
result unknown. I badly need ￥9000 inject to my bad debt to re-enable
currency of my credits quota and living cost, while my relatives
insisted disabled all my credit card forever, for they don't want to
respond with my debt, esp credit anymore. I love my credit card, my
websites online. they engage me with workload and manageable. God dad,
please allow me cultivate on my vested land. allow me grow vegetables
in my backyard. I'm now in my prime light while aging makes daily work
more definitive personally. rid me off anxiousness of living expense,
focus me on building and expanding cyberspace reality under Holy
affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China for the better China
Empire in 1109 years ahead. bring me my girls and offspring that's
vital for my destiny.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love

my marriage in dream.

dream of my new marriage. my passed parents prepared me for new
marriage. my 2nd elder brother managed custom and celebration team
from the village, Zhudajiu. I saw my parents-in-law, my fiance, who is
shy free and visited us the night before rite. I saw clear I never saw
here. last week banks' call of returning credit deficit were frequent.
I buzzed my 2nd brother, kid brother and 2nd sister. my kid brother,
likely the only one who affordable to help, always felt frustrated
upon my conversation or appeal, refuted me 2 times, but finally called
me back last Saturday. he got all my credit card number, likely trying
to cancel them. he said banks' call disrupted him a lot and can't bear
it without actively dealt my problem. God, no matter how the problem
large, I always look my business bright in the end. but I really don't
know how to return the $70000 in my so pinched situation. this month
my salary in 3 serie months as low as 1800. I had to borrow to live
up. my son woz last Friday night visited my dorm. we ate grilled
mutton as scheduled. I don't feel like to put him in panic of economic
slump. he more and more silent upon my insistent life we deserve.God,
dad, I want get through hardness alone, with hope and prayer. God, I'm
confident my debt, 75000, is not a big sin. help me reverifying it.
this spring chill lingers, and put my dorm quite uncomfortable. bring
me sooner summer heat with life we enjoy. bring me sooner my Royal
China for grace. save Japan from earthquake suffering, save my crowned
Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and show us the union fasten our 2 nations.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love

rare dream of my passed eldest sister.

dreamt of my once brother-in-law. this week I restore my 3 dynamic
sites powered by web apps. cleaning data costs some time, but
godaddy's cpanel quite helpful and setup quickly. yesterday I
demonstrated my work to my son, woz, Hope of China, and confessed how
I love my own hut of communication, my own publication like the
website. this dawn I dreamt visiting my passed eldest sister's house.
my eldest sister committed suicide in her prime time, likely after
long time disharmonious with her husband. I love my sister very much
and my old family in debt of my sister for her marriage with a worker
which life much easier than our in early hardest time of PRC. I dreamt
my siblings gathered to visit my eldest sister's house. on a fork road
stop we met our brother-in-law, a widow now, trying repair his
tricycle. his son, my cousin grew up his teenage in my old family
after his mother's passed by and under my parents' custody with his
younger sister, offer a silent helping hand in the house and delayed
there while most of my siblings leaving. I tried to blog after got up
but memory scattered and I napped again. then dreamt I was forbidden
to communicate with the brother-in-law, but get a "matb" certificate
of permission to create access with the past. I also dreamt I on my
website considering published a worker's poems. he is an employee of
my once workplace, QRRS. his poems mostly old styled and mirrors PRC
old custom. I likely then attending a site owners' seminar. last week
PSBC bank urged me to return overdrawal of my credit card. I contacted
my senior middle school alumni and one of them offered me ¥1000. even
I badly need ¥5000 to facilitate fluit of my credit, I can't blame my
alumnus' poor kindness. I hope step by step break barrier of locked
credit. God dad, my web site, esp powered by database and web apps, is
my contribution to the world voices. pl help me maintain it and let it
booms. grant me renew my hosting plan graceful and reasonably secured
duration. grant us the cosy workspace we enjoy now. bring me sooner my
Royal China, my girls and my offspring in time. dad, let my dearest
eldest sister stays in my heart and forever in love. let the coming
history witnesses the blessing her concerned.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love

dream of flying.

So I napped again after a sandstorm noon. I dreamt using water as fuel
and a pair of light wings. I flied over a slop and carefully
calculated fuel consuming. on the hill of my hometown, I finally ran
out of water fuel and woke up. in the past week banks called me
several times but now less burning. I hope my business outruns the
ever accumulating profit in addition principal in a decade. this week
financial hardness embarrassed me so miserable that sometimes humbled
me to bite, esp occasionally an old cop near retired age ate his rich
lunch in dorm canteen with his pal in canteen. after restored hope of
life, my dinners in canteen even delicious since then, from complain
of loan from its operating woman. this week my restoring dynamic sites
also makes proud progress. backup partially imported to new database,
and fresh web apps targeting new domains tried and satisfying. our new
site gathers thin traffic but God, plenty of holy world, let me feel
capable of the online presence now and then. my own especially glad to
see these beautiful huts of interactive, of hospitality, of service,
regardless sunshine nor turbulence. they will be history and morality,
will be testimony of holy commitment. previously I tried hard to build
them on google infrastructure, but now financial situation hardly
support it, and compatibility with php less satisfying. now I found
cheaper hosting at godaddy. and free hosting at byet.host. God, dad,
let the freedom of cyberspace persistent, let the internet affordable
forever. above all of them, I gladful upon hardware upgrade last year
I pushed recklessly. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to foster
good world closing the sinking PRC, bring me sooner my children, my
girls with whom I prayed so long online. in coming salary pl allow me
to alleviate more or less my credit overdraw burden. grant us purchase
power among my dear credit cards. thx, dad, in this chill afternoon.
Photo Description: woz, Hope of China, has painting lesson arranged by
his mom. here his talent artwork in early stage.

rarely dreamt of youth partner.

dreamt first time of youth friend, Qiuxiaolin. yesterday I napped
several times but still today felt exhausted. after canteen breakfast
I satisfied and napped. I dreamt Qiu xiaolin, my Nankai alumnus and
close friend of literature, visited me in my hometown. some neighbor
kids, Zhudahua, Zhuhongying, etc, played our pingpang ball. sometimes
they asked my judge for who can play. I told them there r several
balls and enough. Qiu must discussed our favorite literature and also
relaxed with kids and fun. I had 2 friends in campus. one is Qiu,
another is BianbaQingda, Tibetan artist I never contacted soon after I
stepped into my empirical career in QRRS. that's nearly 20 years. Qiu
is now likely a professor in his hometown, southwestern China,
Bianba's paintings getting public and must also return to his
hometown, Lasha. and that's all I knew. they have my best wishes.
yesterday is lunar mourning day, dorm canteen out of service again. I
ate KFC breakfast and a cheap but consolidate lunch. the additional
cost made my reserve for reunite son in weekends in April turns even
poorer. God dad, grant me freedom of living dignity. empower me rent
hosting service online for my business on the earth in holy
affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China to enlighten the eastern
sky. thx for peaceful moment of nap and crisp air after last dusk
drizzle.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love